Sisters With Standards

Life Imposes Reality

2009-10-23T08:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Sisters,

I apologize for having really no new posts since the spring. Just for an explanation, I was away this summer, was in a car accident (from which everyone emerged unhurt, praise God), and got engaged. I'm continuing my college education this semester as well as planning a wedding. Sad to say, Sisters With Standards has suffered neglect.

Writing this blog was a wonderful experience and there were things I was burning to say and messages I was passionate about spreading that it was wonderful to be able to get across. Thank you dedicated readers who gave me encouraging feedback! I don't think I said anything anyone didn't already know. I just wanted to be a reminder.

And I think I've already said everything God has given me to say. I wish I had the time to continue posting encouragement or just sharing Scriptures. But I'll be taking an official long break from SWS, so there won't be any new posts.

I would love to turn this into a BOOK, and I may get working on that during the Christmas break, and if so, be assured you'll hear about it :)

Thank you again for reading this blog, and I hope you'll be able to use the resources here to encourage others!

In Christ,

Brynne

A Summer Summary

2009-06-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

Dear readers of the Sisters With Standards blog,
I'm away for the summer working at a Christian camp. I seldom have internet access, so updating the blog is difficult.

I wanted to pull together some lists of the past series and include links in this post for ease of access:

The Post That Started It All...

The Genuine Beauty Series:
Part 1 - Ever Changing Beauty
Part 2 - The Fatal Flaw
Part 3 - How The Bible Defines Genuine Beauty
Part 4 - Beautiful Women of the Bible
Part 5 - Brothers in Christ Speak Out!
The Mystery
Butterfly Beauty

The Redefining Identity Series:
Part 1 - Redefining Identity
Part 2 - Redefining Identity For What It's Worth
Part 3 - Identified
Part 4 - iDENTITY

The Modesty Myths Series:
Part 1 - "Modesty Is Miserable"
Part 2 - "Modesty Is All About Rules"
Part 3 - "Modesty Is Impossible"
Part 4 - "Modesty Is Ugly"
Part 5 - "God Loves Modest Girls More"

Other Posts To Visit:
New Year's Musings - On Failure and Fresh Starts
Shopping With The Spirit
The Selfishness of Immodesty
Gift-Wrapped
As Becomes The Bride

Thank you for stopping by!

In Christ,
Brynne

Modesty Myths - Part Five

2009-05-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"God loves modest girls more"?

FALSE!

This myth is super sneaky - it hardly ever rears its head in full-blown declaration. It's hard to locate, harder to pin down, and hardest of all to expose and debunk. It's a lie that many of us are guilty of unwittingly believing, a guest we often entertain unawares, and a thing we amicably slip scraps to under the table, unaware that it snaps greedily at our fingers...

This lithe shape-shifter appears in many lights or hides in many shadows, but always at base it is smug and self-assuring: "I'm doing good, because I'm better than..."

Comparison to others boosts our confidence. Surely, we think, God sees that I am doing this, and she is not... or she is doing that, and I am not. And isn't it just right that He would kind of love and appreciate us more? After all, we are toeing the line and dotting our i's. That should be good for some points with God, right?

Please, read Luke 18:9 - 14. Then, thoughtfully consider this retelling:

Two girls arrived at church early one morning to pray. One was Jessica, a dedicated Bible-study leader. The other was Jenna, new at church but already turning heads in the mini skirt she knelt in.

Jessica looked across the church at Jenna and rolled her eyes at the way the skimpy skirt displayed her tanned legs. 'I'm not going to kneel,' she thought, 'and risk looking as improper as she does.' She sat down in a chair and primly crossed her legs.

'God, I thank You that I am not like other people...' she began a stream-of-consciousness prayer, 'indecent celebrities, the girls in the world, or the girls who dress like hookers and wear provocative clothes while they pretend to serve You... the insecure who need to flaunt their bodies to feel worth. I cover up. I dress impeccably and tastefully. I am modest.'

She reminded God of her goodness in following standards of modesty, almost as if He were Santa Claus checking his Christmas list twice. She finished her prayer with a satisfied sigh, and straightened her shoulders with a feeling of saintliness.

Meanwhile, tears poured from Jenna's eyes, smearing her mascara and sprinkling her knees. 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' she pleaded.

The pianist began to warm up, and other people were starting to trickle into the building. Sniffling, Jenna found the bathroom and dabbed at her tear-streaked face. Jessica was in there washing her hands; she did her best to avoid eye contact. 'Awkward,' she was thinking, as she hurried out. Meanwhile, Jenna's heart was whispering, 'Thank you, Lord, I love You!'

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Paul's attitude was straight on when he said:

"But by the grace of God, I am what I am." 1 Corinthians 15:10

He shares from his heart in 1 Timothy 1:12 - 17 that all credit goes to God if we are living worthy lives:

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service; even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. And yet I was shown mercy, because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus.

It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.

And yet for this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."

Always, he felt his own unworthiness, always the enabling power of Christ. Thus, if he succeeded at living according to Christian standards, the glory went to God and not to him. He didn't see himself as earning favor with God, or as more deserving of Christ's love - he called himself the chief of sinners! And when the apostle Paul calls himself the chief of sinners (this is the guy who had a conversation with the resurrected Jesus, went up to the third heaven, and didn't die after being bitten by a fatally poisonous viper), how can we have the elevated opinion of ourselves that we do?

Nothing can separate us from God's love, Romans 8:35 - 39 assures us. Nothing can lessen His love for us. And if He loved us even while we were covered in the despicable filth of our sins, can we really believe that we can earn more love?

If Paul compared himself to other people, it was to declare that he was just as terrible a sinner as they, if not worse. Yet we compare ourselves to others and always manage to find something to praise in ourselves and condemn in them.

This is not to say that we don't call others to walk consistently with their confession (Ephesians 4:1) or to dress as becomes women making a claim to godliness (1 Timothy 2:9 - 10).

But it means that it is not done arrogantly or with smug feelings of spiritual superiority or with complacent reassurance of being a more deserving Christian.

You see, a 'Sister with Standards' may have all her ducks in a row when it comes to dressing modestly, yet be incredibly blind about her shortcomings in another area.

Why do we act as though modesty makes or breaks one's salvation? How hypocritical! Jesus took to task those who act unlovingly toward their brothers. What good is it if you are hyper-modest, but have not love (see 1 Corinthians 13)?

The very girl we mentally condemn for her dress as worldly and un-Christlike may epitomize Christian fruits in other areas of her life.

Thus, encouragement and even some choicely worded exhortation may be in order, but Christian love should govern all, and Pharisaical judgment should never rear it's ugly head.

"But you, why do you judge your [sister]? Or you again, why do you regard your [sister] with contempt? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God." Romans 14:10

I beg you to ponder this, and draw your own conclusions and applications.
As much as I champion modesty, allow me to plead for Christ-like love even more!

In Christ,
Brynne

Modesty Myths - Part Four

2009-04-27T19:58:00.001-07:00

"The King's daughter is all glorious within..." Psalm 45:13

Here at least is an honest complaint about modesty: "I want to be pretty. Modesty is ugly. I don't want to be ugly. So why be modest?"

Certainly, I'll grant that most of us desire to be pretty, and do not want to be "ugly". But true to form, I will deny that modesty is, in fact, inherently "ugly".

That modesty is often projected as ugly is undeniable, however. Like Cinderella's fairy godmother offering to give her a makeover so she can go to the ball, our society loudly proffers immodest fashion as a chance for us to join the limelight and leave behind the drudgery of modesty. I find it humorous that, while Cinderella changed her skimpy tatters for finery, the fashions we are encouraged to embrace are often little more than rags. "I have dust rags bigger than that!" is a favorite tongue-in-cheek exclamation of my mother, as we walk past certain sections of the mall.

You see, our society has decided to celebrate the beauty of the human body. Actually, this is something that Scripture affirms: the human body is a good and beautiful thing (a la Song of Solomon) because it is made in the image of God. However, our society celebrates the beauty of the human body by disrobing it. And this is something that Scripture associates with shame.

While Adam and Eve were created in perfection and waltzed around the Garden of Eden with no need for clothing, the moment sin entered in the world, the shame of nakedness came with it. Suddenly, they felt a need to cover up... and God Himself fashioned clothing for them! Suddenly, it was not normal human behavior to walk around sans attire.

In contrast, the message our society preaches is that clothing is really pretty much an inhibition to self-expression, and the less we wear and the more we emphasize our bodies, the more we embrace our self-worth and freedom. We become conditioned to view immodesty as beautiful and modesty as frumpish and even suppressive.
If those are the definitions we accept for “beautiful” and “ugly”, then it is true, modesty is ugly.

Fine.

But if we know that our culture’s definitions for “beautiful” and “ugly” are less than biblically sound, then we ought to reject their conclusion that “modesty is ugly”.

Still, we don’t. Why is that?

You see, in point of fact, it isn’t “modesty” as an idea, goal, or aim that we find so displeasing; frequently, our objection is to the application of modesty. It is true that at times the way people choose to express modesty can be unappealing. We may look at extreme examples and conclude, “Whoa, if that’s modesty, I am so NOT going there”. On the other hand, we may look at a model in the newest (and most fabric-stingy) style, and think, “You know, that shows a little more skin than I’m comfortable with, but I would look pretty good too, if I were wearing that…”

So there you have it: # 1, we want to be beautiful; # 2, we don’t want to be unbeautiful.

And my case: modesty itself is not unbeautiful, although people may choose to express modesty in unbeautiful ways.

Others have written proliferously on topics such as choosing colors that compliment your skin-tones and styles that suit your shape, so I will let their work stand without addition :)

My point is merely to demonstrate that what our culture says is beautiful celebrates shame - so why do we accept its condemnation of the portrayal of our values as “ugly”? Furthermore, it is highly possible to be modest and still look lovely - in fact, to possess a classy beauty that modernity can’t attain because it has rejected true inner, spiritual beauty!

Press on for the prize, sisters!

In Christ,
Brynne

Modesty Myths - Part Three

2009-04-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

I'm calling the bluff of all those who claim that "modesty is impossible". You see, it's not. That's a cop-out - a convenient excuse, but one that completely evades the real issue. Neatly sidestepping the moral concerns of modesty, it distracts us with the demands of pragmatism.

Invariably, the protest that "modesty is impossible" stems from one of two camps of complaint:

"It's too hard to find modest clothing!"

"It's too hard to be different from everyone else!"

The first looks out, assesses the territory and says, "There's no way modesty is going to happen... Everything I see is immodest, leaving me with the sole option of cutting holes in pillowcases or wearing an equally trendy burkah... Therefore, modesty is impossible."

The second looks out, takes a census of the general population, and says, "No one else out there cares about modesty... Everyone I see is dressingly immodestly, and if I buck the trend, I will stick out like an American actress in a European film... Everything about me will scream 'I'm different!' and people will look at me funny - or worse, they'll ignore me... Therefore, modesty is impossible."

The first must deal with the very real issue of a dearth of modest clothing available. The second must deal with the equally real issue of taking a stance that will visibly distinguish them from the rest of the culture.

Neither conclusion is really valid. Nothing that has been said implies that modesty is truly impossible... merely that it is difficult.

If the claim was, "Modesty is Difficult", I wouldn't demur. It would be laughable to claim that it's not. However, difficult is not necessarily impossible, and in the case of modesty, the equation of the two is quite frankly a cowardly one.

Let's visit 2 Corinthians 6 for some real hardship, through which we still must serve Christ and maintain our witness:

"Giving no cause for offense in anything, so that the ministry will not be discredited, but in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses, in beatings, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in hunger, in purity, in knowledge, in patience, in kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in genuine love, in the word of truth, in the power of God..." (vv. 3 - 7)

If we're called to faithfulness that could land us in prison or earn us bodily persecution, dare we complain about a little difficulty in either finding modest clothes or being snubbed by our culture?

I can't deny that it is hard to find modest clothes, so here are some practical tips:

- Jump a size. You may have to mentally break free from a size chart and try on a larger size. Yes, ladies, this is huge for us, and immediately brings all sorts of objections to mind. But if you're willing to shop for fit, and not merely confine yourself to a size, you may find that a very cute top that was a little too tight in your "correct" size works after all!

- Layer. Layers are nearly magical, able to transform a shirt that would otherwise be too low-cut, sheer, or clingy. They're not the cure-all, end-all - some things just can't be salvaged - but they are a very useful tool to keep in mind.

- Explore. You don't have to shop where *everyone* shops. Look around for new stores, try internet shopping... in other words, if you don't see modest clothing in the places you normally shop, go searching, and you will find it somewhere. I can't recommend any specific places, because with a little creativity I've been able to find modest clothing all over the place! Trust me, it can be done :)

- Consider Jesus. "Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:2 - 3). It can be hard to stand alone in a crowd of clones, to fly against the wind, or swim against the current. But take time to remind yourself of the work of Christ, and for love of Him, persevere.

Take heart!
Take joy!

In Christ,
Brynne

Modesty Myths - Part Two

2009-03-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." 2 Corinthians 3:17

See, if following God was all about rules, the Pharisees would have had it made, as a recent commenter pointed out. There was no one as scrupulous as they, to obey every last rule of the Mosaic Law, and numerous additions of their own tradition. If keeping the rules was able to get you in good with God, they would have been teacher’s pets.

However, they were hypocrites. Their deeds were apparently flawless, but their hearts were in no way pleasing to God.

In Matthew 23, Jesus called out the insincerity of the Pharisees, condemning their imposition of legalism on others and their praise-seeking motives (vv. 2 - 5), reminding them that the dirty interior of a cup renders a clean exterior a mere mockery (vv. 25 - 26), and that when a tomb contains rotting bodies, a coat of whitewash doesn’t help much (v. 27).

May it not be said to us, what He spoke to them: “Even so you too outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

It is indeed possible to maintain extremely high standards, and still miss the point completely. That is why modesty is not merely “all about rules”. If it were, it would be an exercise in hypocrisy, rooted in human ability and theatrical emptiness.

Rules may allow you to achieve a “modest” status among men, but rules will not change your heart before God.

Thus, I define modesty as “an outer demonstration of an inner purity”, which is “first God-focused, and then others-focused” (1). It allows us to attest to our love for God and our love for our brothers in Christ without speaking a word (2), and witnesses to our acceptance of God’s valuation of us (3).

As the Pharisees demonstrated, not even the most meticulously compiled lists of taboos and requirements supply the magic formula: true modesty relies on a heart that desires to please God.

And as Jesus informed the Pharisees, all the rules really boil down to two commandments: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” and “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37 - 40).

Paul says that “the entire law is summed up in a single command: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14).

“Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” (Romans 13:10)

In reality, we can legitimately refuse to be bound by the boxes of legalism or to subscribe to a 'Spiritual dress code' imposed by others, but only because we are called to even higher and more difficult standards to attain. The Savior who commands us to love our enemies requires also that we love our brothers. Given that the lowest acceptable standard of treatment for those we dislike is to do good to them, to pray for them, and to bless them, what about those to whom we are now related by the blood of Christ? While there is liberty from human constructions, “with great [freedom] comes great responsibility”, and we must answer to God.

1 Peter portrays this beautiful dance of freedom and service: “Act as free [women] and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God” (2:16).

We submit ourselves to God, instead of rules; and only when we are His “bondslaves” do we find perfect liberty. (Interesting fact: a bondslave is someone who has voluntarily chosen servitude and dedicated themselves to their master for life, preferring a life of service to one he/she loves than ‘freedom’ elsewhere.)

Paul sums it up beautifully: “For you were called to freedom, [sisters]; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13).

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Modesty Myths - Part One

2009-03-19T16:43:00.000-07:00

I’m glad to be back after some very busy weeks of this new semester, and apologize for the lack of recent posts! I’m very excited to start a new series on “Modesty Myths” that will deal with misconceptions about modesty, lies we tell ourselves, and excuses we make.

“Serve the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful singing.” Psalm 100:2

Too often we have a picture of joy-less modesty. Perhaps this comes from the way the King James Version renders 1 Timothy 2:9 “that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…”

Far from beginning a battle of translations, I would merely like to point out the way that word usage changes through time, so that our concept of “sobriety” and “shamefacedness” is bound to be different than that of the readers of the King James Version in the 1600’s. Other versions translate those words as “decency” and “propriety” (NIV), or “modestly” and “discreetly” (NASB), to communicate the same message in current terminology.

At the same time, a simple trip to the dictionary reveals that “sobriety” and “shamefacedness” are wonderful words, as long as we don’t bring our modern assumption that they mean “glum” and “embarrassed”. For instance, sober can refer to being “quiet or sedate in demeanor”, as well as “free from excess”, and “showing self-control”. Shamefacedness has suffered the most in modern times, but would you believe that in Old English it means “firm in modesty” (and has absolutely nothing to do with one’s “face”)?

I think we sometimes look at a call to be modest as a call to be a wall-flower - to hide our personality and likes/dislikes behind a façade of neutral behavior and dress.

But if you want to talk flowers, let’s look at some of the beautiful blooms that God has created and which undoubtedly bring Him glory:

I want to encourage you to serve the Lord with joy. Express that joy in your appearance! Modesty can be colorful, fun, and dynamic. In other posts, we’ve talked about the foundation and heart-attitude of modesty and the importance of putting our convictions into action (What Is Sisters With Standards?; Gift-Wrapped; Shopping With The Spirit)

Now in combating the myth that “Modesty is Miserable”, I’m challenging you to creativity. Be creative in the way you dress modestly, and seek to express the “joy of the Lord”. Take encouragement (or even inspiration!) from the beautiful flowers of God’s creation.

Bloom in true joy for the Lord!

In Christ,
Brynne

"You Just Lost One"

2009-03-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this video with you. While its topic is not "modesty", it is about following Christ radically in every area of your life and setting standards to glorify Him. The message is presented in a creative way that definitely prompts reflection. I pray that as Sisters With Standards we will keep our eyes on the "big picture" of serving Christ, and will not allow anything to distract us from Him.

Redefining Identity - Part 4

2009-02-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

Why do I say "selling ourselves"? I'll admit that sounds strange at first. But the Internet, specifically through social networking sites, has conditioned us to do just that - to market and promote ourselves.

Why would I say that?

In the last post, I mentioned the fact that we like to label ourselves. Unfortunately, our source for that identity is often not the Lord, but the world around us.

We let others dictate our identity to us. Instead of possessing an identity that we then live out, we tend to absorb our identity from the world around us. It's just easier. Why do we do this when we should know who we are in Christ? Simply this: we care too much about other's opinions of us.

It's like we're in a constant state of change - trying to discover what others will approve of, and then trying to maintain that approval. By marketing our identity, through trial and error we figure out what it is that others approve of, and then we seek to be just that.

"Selling ourselves online" isn't a way we seek to express our identity, but a way we seek to establish it.

Without being too specific (i.e. calling out names, etc.) I'd like to look at the way Internet technology has encouraged this:

First, a social networking site obviously is self-centered - it's about you, and how you relate to the world/people around you. True that in our own minds, we may hold a more exalted opinion of ourselves than we should, but online, we are the center of the universe, in control of almost everything. Online we can pretend as if the sun, moon and stars revolved around us. Adding, removing, ranking friends... Broadcasting to every person in our little world our every mood... There's a feeling of power that comes from having an entire community at your fingertips.

If you think about it, though, every other person out there is also the center of their own online reality, perhaps thinking that the sun, moon, and stars revolve around them (oh no!). This is where the self-promoting comes in: now it is our job to convince everyone of the position we mentally hold. If we grab their attention, assert our merits loudly, and demand recognition enough, we can still be the center, right?

Hopefully you can see that if that's what we're doing, almost everyone else will be doing that as well. (Not to mention the fact that each person is NOT the center of their own little universe - God should occupy that place).

I realize I've been working on some huge generalizations here. I have friends who could seem to care less about social networking sites (and if you ask them they will smile and tell you that they have a "real" life), however, I've also seen enough people addicted to online popularity to become convinced that this is a real and widespread issue.

Allow me to introduce to you my primary witness - a touchy subject also known as "profile pictures".

I'm not against them... They can be quite useful in figuring out which "Mary Smith" you knew in first grade. They can be a creative way to let other people get a glimpse of your personality based on how you decide to represent yourself. Or they can be a helpful advertising tool...

You know that all those companies with something to sell have realized that visual advertisement works; hence all the billboards, television ads, magazine ads, posters, previews, etc. And have you noticed that often sell their products/services/ideas with attractive and skimpily-clad women?

This is why provocative, self-focused profile pictures bother me so much... It's selling yourself on so many levels:
~ Selling yourself short, because it expresses a low value of yourself as a child of God.
~ Seeking approval and popularity based on how you look, not who you are. (What is incredibly sad is when, as we talked about earlier, who you are IS based on how you look).
~ Substituting the properties of your body for who you really are inside.

It seems incredibly inconsistent to me for us to say that we care about modesty...
~ Yet post (for our entire circle of acquaintances, and acquaintances' acquaintances) pictures of us that revel in the flesh and show off 'what we got'.
~ To say that we want Christ to be seen through us, and then to emphasize our body so that's impossible to see anything else.
~ On that note, to say that we care about our brothers in Christ, but then put up pictures that they can't help but see, and that completely defeat our purpose.

All that being said, I myself do have Facebook (oops, I said it), and I enjoy it. Not only that, but I have seen some very positive things come out of it. (For example, in the Genuine Beauty: Brothers in Christ Speak Out post, I was able to request and receive those responses via Facebook.)

I am not anti-social-networking, anti-Internet.
I simply want us to understand the way this entirely new concept is affecting our lives. This is technology our parents didn't have growing up. Prior to our age, NO ONE ELSE IN HISTORY DEALT WITH SOCIAL NETWORKING WEBSITES, right? That thought should impress upon us the responsibility we have in using this new technology - and not letting it control us.

I believe it is possible to glorify God in the area of the Internet, just as it is in every other area of our lives. It simply takes thought and strategy and responsibility.

All I would ask is this: Evaluate the things you place out for the world to see. Be a sister with online standards :)

A long time ago, if someone wanted to spread their image to the general population, perhaps a portrait would be painted, or a photograph would be posed and distributed. Now, we are able to do this with the click of our mouse.

The instantaneity of this power is its greatest weakness. With one click, for better or worse, we have expressed something - it's there for good. Thankfully, we usually have the power of a delete button, but there is no rewinding history: someone, somewhere, online at the same time, or receiving an update, has seen what you just posted.

So I want to present a few things to consider as you represent your online identity:
~ Representation: How is this going to represent/reflect Christ? (It will either represent Him for the good or bad)
~ Its Affect: How might this affect someone else? (Will this set a good or bad example - there is always someone who looks up to you, and will take your actions as a pattern for the future)
~ Consistency: Is it consistent with what I believe? (If I say that I believe in being modest, is this consistent with that belief? If I say that something is wrong, is this consistent with what I say?)
~ Truth: Is it true? (Is this who I truly am? Does this truly express my identity, or is it hypocritical/false/misrepresentative? Does this reflect truth about God/Christianity, or does it muddy the waters?)

The deeper you get into this topic, the more there is to think about. I encourage you to THINK, however, and to seek God's view of this as in all other areas of life, as well as being open to His conviction if there is anything He wants you to do differently.

In Christ,
Brynne

Redifining Identity - Part 3

2009-01-26T14:19:00.000-08:00

Having already covered both the scope and value of our new identity as Christians, I would like to explore the ways we express and represent our identity.

Throughout life, we find ourselves in different situations that confer upon us new roles and additions to our identity. In addition to being "children of the King", we are also citizens of a certain country. As we progress through school we find ourselves first assigned to grades, and then distinguished by 'years' (Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, Senior). We find that certain interests and hobbies tend to classify us: You like horses? You must be a Cowgirl. You play an instrument? Musician. Even hair color can become an identity, as in the [unfortunate] 'Blonde' stereotype.

We just seem to think and act in terms of generalizations and stereotypes. Some are organizational, such as the grades of a school, deemed necessary to maintain order. Some are judgmental (and not necessarily in the negative sense of the word) and allow us to classify people for easy memory - “Oh, she’s that jazz-music-girl”.

Personality tests tell us what color we "are", which Star Wars character or Disney princess we are, where we should live (city, country, etc;), which "hot and famous celebrity" we are most like, five words that describe us, and even the type of person we should avoid marrying at all costs.

These quizzes may be simply amusing, or even practical and informative, but some are downright presumptuous - can a quiz really tell me what [insert here: job/degree/life-calling/spouse] is truly the “best” for me? (In 25 questions, no less).

There is a measure of validity (however stretched, at times) in deducing personal characteristics from interests, but what you like to do and what you are like are determined by who you are, not the other way around.

Perhaps it’s the fault of our English language, that we say “I am an English Major” or “I am a Sophomore” in the exact same way we say “I am a Christian”.

And has it ever struck you that the declarative identity statement “I am” belongs to God in a special way? This is the name He reveals to Moses (Exodus 3:13 - 15), and He doesn’t have to add anything to the phrase!

I’d like to present a simple and profound statement of identity, from John Newton, the author of the song Amazing Grace:

“I remember two things: that I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great Savior.”

We are weak, BUT Christ is strong. We fail, BUT Christ loves us. We were dead, BUT Christ brought life. We were lost, BUT Christ brought us to God. We fall in the mud, BUT Christ cleanses us.

So we stand with an identity that does not come from ourselves, but one that has been wrapped around us by the blood of Christ - we have become identified with Him and our identity is Christ in us.

“May it never be that I should boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me and I to the world.” Galatians 6:14

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20

(Incidentally, Paul wrote this letter to the Galatian church that was suffering from an identity crisis. The Jews were telling this Gentile church that in order to be part of the Christian body, they must convert to Judaism per the requirements of Mosaic law. Paul soundly contradicted this, reminding them of their identity as new creations in Christ and their freedom from legalistic additions to the Gospel message.)

So the question I now want to ask is: Can people see Christ in us? This is a question of transparency versus opacity - Can they see Christ through us, or do we get in the way?

When Christ walked the earth, He looked like any ordinary man (Isaiah 53:2). Nothing visual singled Him out as special; no halo floated around His head, identifying Him as the Christ.

I’m not saying that somehow we be so saintly that this cloud of angel-dust surrounds us, advertising to the world that here walks a Godly person. The Pharisees used to visually and overtly broadcast their ‘godliness’, but Jesus exposed the fact that their spiritual state was not as it seemed.

I’m also not saying that our outward projection is irrelevant. Because what we wear and the way we behave will either allow the light of Christ to shine brightly through us, or will cloud and dim it.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp, and put it under the peck-measure, but on the lampstand; and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14 - 16

Peter explains how our identity in Christ should be lived out and expressed in a way that points clearly to Him:

"You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the [heathens], so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may on account of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.” 1 Peter 2:9 - 12

We do this so that we may prove ourselves to be “blameless and innocent, children of God in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom [we] appear as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15).

You may have heard the fable about the contest between a cave and the sun, to see which was greater - darkness or light. The cave tried to explain darkness to the sun, but the sun decided to see for himself. However, once the sun entered the cave, the darkness disappeared, because darkness is simply the absence of light…

We have a different kind of Son living within us, who shines much brighter than any celestial ball of gas, and who will dispel the darkness of the world… Who would want to veil light like that?

Unfortunately, we do exactly that. And often. The light is there inside of us, but that’s where it stays.

Let’s return to Galatians (the book of identity) to learn a little bit about letting our light shine, and we’ll try to apply it to the areas of outer appearance:

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires [identified with Christ, remember]. If we live by the Spirit [and we do], let us also walk by the Spirit.” Galatians 5:22 - 25

I could write a whole series on the fruit of the Spirit (and I may… I’m feeling inspiration as I type), but let’s focus on how we can apply its different attributes to making decisions about clothes, etc.

Love, kindness - these are tied to modesty.

Joy, peace, goodness, gentleness - there is no denying that certain types of clothing/styles/looks advertise anything but joy, peace, goodness [righteousness] or gentleness; rather, they seem to revel in depression, darkness, and rebellion.

Self-control - this could also be linked to modesty, however it also makes me think of the messages emblazoned across so many clothes that proclaim immature, careless and selfish messages: “You WISH you were as cool as me!”, “Excuse me? Your lips are moving but nothing is coming through”, etc.

Patience is harder to tie in, but here’s a thought - What kind of un-coolness are we will to endure (endurance is a synonym of patience) in order to dress to reflect our identity in Christ?

We’ve come to this subject by a circuitous route… it seemingly has little to do with the labels or personality tests I mentioned at the beginning of this post. But here’s the connection: If I embrace my identity as “Extrovert-PartyAnimal-thecolorOrange-theseasonSummer-BeachVacationer-RebelliousPrincessJasmine”, it’s easy to project that image in the way I dress/act; the racks and shelves at the stores are filled with clothes to fit those sorts of characterizations.

But when I embrace my identity as a Christian (one who follows Christ), I must give thought and intention to a new responsibility - letting my light shine before men and pointing them to Him.

Sisters, how are you identified, and what are you doing about it?

In Christ,
Brynne

P.S. In the next post, I’m going to enter the choppy waters of exploring the question of how the Internet age has affect “identity”.

Redefining Identity - Part 2

2009-01-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

Ephesians 1-3 is an encouraging reminder of our present privileged position as God's redeemed children. If there's ever any doubts about where we stand as Christians, those three chapters are the primer for our new identity. However, it's also important to review where we came from, and how we got here, for two reasons: to magnify the contrast of our new lives, and to keep the focus on Christ alone and not ourselves. Sometimes we can look around us and begin to grow smug, imagining that by our own merit we have somehow deserved these blessings.

The truth is, of course, that it is not of our own doing, and a brief reminder of our pre-Christian identity helps us to appreciate the work of Christ even more and humble us before His greatness:

Once upon a time, in another kingdom, one of sorrow and darkness and filth and misery...

★ We were enemies of God (Romans 5:10)

★ We were "children of wrath" (Ephesians 2:3)

★ We were dead in sins (Ephesians 2:1)

★ We were separate and excluded from God's family, with no hope (Ephesians 2:12)

★ We were slaves to sin (Romans 6:20)

★ We had earned death (Romans 6:23)

★ Sinful passions were at work in our body, bearing fruit for death (Romans 7:5)

★ Our minds were hostile towards God (Romans 8:7)

★ We could not please God (Romans 8:8)

★ We were disobedient to God (Romans 11:30)

★ We had a veil over our hearts (2 Corinthians 3:13 - 15)

Then something happened that we did not plan. The Crown Prince of the "enemy" kingdom went undercover, disguising himself as one of us, and infiltrated our world to accomplish the most daring rescue mission of all time. After going head to toe with our evil captor, He met a murderous death, but returned from the grave in the greatest victory of all history.

So when we were still dead in our trespasses and sins, He made us alive together with Him, "having forgiven us all our transgressions, having cancelled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us and which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." (Colossians 2:13 - 14)

The key word here is He - Christ - reminding us that the focus should always remain on Him. It is the cross of Christ that gives us our new identity - by His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5), by His blood we are justified (Romans 5:9) and cleansed (Hebrews 9:14).

The suffering and bleeding of God Himself purchased our salvation!

That thought should produce intense gratitude in us; our new identity should dictate fitting standards of behavior:

"And if you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each man's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited for your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ." (1 Peter 1:17 - 19)

This world is constantly seeking to define us, and often we are all too ready to accept its labels. Whether from insecurity, the lure of popularity, the promise of fellowship, or the acceptance of others' low valuation of us, the root is all the same - choosing to see ourselves through man's eyes instead of through God's eyes.

Sisters, refuse to be defined by any except your Heavenly Father! Refuse to accept any valuation except His.

Your identity comes from the shed blood of Christ - undeserved, freely given, redeeming us, and making you a child of God.

That's what it's worth.

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Redefining Identity - Part 1

2009-01-14T12:37:00.000-08:00

Beginning a new series on shifting the way we view ourselves to align it with the way God views us. Why?

★ So we can be on the same page as God. (Always a good thing)

★ So we have a sound foundation for our standards.

★ So we will develop a Biblical outlook on our personal worth.

★ When we understand WHO we are in Christ and WHY we are in Christ, we can confidently move to WHAT He wants us to do, WHEN He wants us to do it, WHERE He wants us to be. It changes HOW we live.

We've already established that we want our appearance to reflect an inner commitment to purity, and our love for God.

You've probably noticed that some people create an identity for themselves based upon the image they project, labelling themselves "goth", "emo", "indie", "gangster", etc. Yes, I know I have chosen painfully obvious stereotypes, and one can also create an identity such as "always-modest-and-perfect-sweet-church-girl" based only on outward appearances, but my point is: What they wear becomes who they are; at the very least, it becomes who they are known as.

As believers, however, Christ is our identity. It's no longer our own solo sinful selves - we have become identified with Him, and are given new identities. It's just as if we died, were reborn, and received new birth certificates.

Too often we don't understand our identity in Christ. You could say that we still hold onto our old birth certificates and go by our old names. We don't embrace the new identity God has given us. We are unable to see ourselves the way He sees us, and our view of our value and worth becomes skewed.

The book of Ephesians is the passionate primer for defining your identity in Christ, and following that new calling through to suitable behavior - walking "in a manner worthy of your calling" (Ephesians 4:1). In the first 3 chapters, Paul reminds us of both how valuable we are to God and the groundwork for that value, and in the last 3 chapters, he explores the standard of conduct this value should elicit from us.

I recommend reading Ephesians for yourself (and it's almost impossible not to get excited as you read this book!), but I'm going to go ahead and list everything that those chapters tell us about our new identity:

★ We are blessed with every spiritual blessing through Christ (1:3).

★ We were chosen in Him before the foundation of the world (1:4).

★ We were predestined to adoption as His children, because of His kind intention and grace showered on us (1:5 - 6).

★ We have redemption in Christ through His blood (1:7).

★ We have forgiveness of our sins (1:7).

★ We can now know the mystery of God's will (1:9).

★ We have received a heavenly inheritance through Christ (1:11).

★ We are sealed in Christ with the Holy Spirit (1:13).

★ We are given access to the hope of His calling, to the riches of the glory of His inheritance, and to the surpassing greatness of His power (1:18 - 19).

★ We were dead in our sins, but have now been made alive through Christ (2:1 - 5).

★ We have been raised up with Christ, and seated with Him in the heavenly places (2:6).

★ We are continually shown the surpassing riches of God's grace in kindness toward us (2:7).

★ We were saved by God's grace completely apart from anything we could have done on our own (2:8 - 9).

★ We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for specific things God has planned for us (2:10).

★ We were formerly separated from God, excluded from fellowship with Him, and strangers to His promises, but now we have been brought near by the blood of Christ (2:11 - 13).

★ We were once enemies with God's children, but now we are at peace because of Christ (2:14 - 15).

★ We now have access to God through Jesus Christ (2:18).

★ We are no longer strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of God's household (2:19).

★ We are part of the body of believers that is being built into a holy temple and a dwelling of God in the Spirit (2:20 - 22).

★ We are fellow heirs, fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise of Christ through the gospel (3:6).

★ We have received the unfathomable riches of Christ (3:8).

★ We have mysteries revealed to us that have been hidden for ages (3:9 - 10).

★ We are part of God's eternal purpose (3:11).

★ We have boldness and confident access through Christ (3:12).

★ We are loved by Christ with a love that surpasses knowledge (3:18 - 19).

★ We have a new self, created in the likeness of God in righteousness, holiness, and truth (4:24).

Are you on overload? Isn't it almost shocking and absolutely humbling how much God loves us and has done for us?

Our new identity is so completely antithetical to our old identity, it's as if God took a dirty toad from a roadside gutter and transformed it into a crown prince. Just like a toad couldn't possibly do anything to deserve such an action, we find ourselves at the receiving end of completely undeserved love and grace.

This dichotomy is so crazy, only God could have come up with it: Often we value ourselves too lowly by valuing ourselves too highly (um... I had to think about that too); but when we understand who we are in Christ, we find our true high value by valuing ourselves less and Christ more.

Boiled down: Our identity apart from Christ isn't worth a hill of beans. Our identity in Christ is so shockingly valuable, better have the oxygen handy when you read some of those verses. :)

And what is the response that flows naturally from embracing our new identity?

We act in accordance with it. In the movie Princess Diaries, the main character unexpectedly discovers that she is the crown princess of a country. That discovery and new identity leads to new actions on her part. It is expected that she will learn to behave like a princess (although in this movie, that's not exactly what happens).

Paul had this in mind as he wrote Ephesians. After establishing our new identity, he describes the actions that should accompany it. I highly recommend studying Ephesians 4 - 6 on your own, as there is more in those few chapters than I could ever hope to cover!

And I hope you will keep this in mind as the next series of posts continues to explore our identity in Christ: "walk worthy" (Ephesians 4:1). I pray that as we learn more about who we are in Him, we will seek to act in a manner more and more in accordance with our God-given position as His daughters.

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Sisters With Standards Will Return Right After This

2009-01-04T21:55:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

No blog post this week; I will be in Haiti on a missions trip, from January 5th - 11th. As soon as I return, I'll start blogging once more!

We will be helping start a Christian kids camp on the missions trip, and would appreciate your prayers!

If you are interested in finding out more, you can visit www.jacobswell.org!

In Christ,

Brynne

New Year's Musings

2008-12-28T14:37:00.000-08:00

As this year draws to an end, and a new year dawns, reflection on the past is a mixed blessing. Sometimes it is helpful to look back - celebrate the victories, learn from the defeats, and see the hand of God in our lives over the last 365 days.

Sometimes it's simply discouraging.

Sometimes the times we failed outnumber the times we succeeded. Sometimes we succumbed to temptation more often than we fought and resisted it. Or at least, those are the times that stand out the most boldly and proclaim the loudest our failures of the year. Often we look back and see instances of compromise marching on as far as the eye can see.

We may see more clearly in hindsight, but it's often a painful view.

Even in our failures, however, there is forgiveness; comfort rather than condemnation, lest we should be "overwhelmed with excessive sorrow" (2 Corinthians 2:7). Not even a sparrow can fall to the ground without God's knowledge (Matthew 10:29): be assured, He knows when we fall. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Instead, He will raise us up again as He lifted Peter from the churning waves when Peter took his eyes from his Lord and began to sink (Matthew 14:25 - 33).

Boldly, we can proclaim: "Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; when I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me" (Micah 7:8).

With faith, we can pray: "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the greatness of Your compassion, blot out my transgression. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin... Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. Purify me with hyssop and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow... Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me... Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will be converted to You... Then my tongue will joyfully sing of You." (verses from Psalm 51)

Confidently, we can draw near to the throne of grace "that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

Victoriously, we can give thanks to God, "who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place" (2 Corinthians 2:14).

Therefore, sisters, since we have been given confidence by Christ's blood, "let us draw near with a sincere heart, in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised in faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds..." (Hebrews 10:19 - 24).

It is at this point that reflection may be helpful, to give us tools for our walk with the Lord in the coming year. Referencing the past is only helpful as we plan for the future; in that frame of mind, we may question our past actions, in order that the answers may instruct our future actions.

As we look forward to the year ahead, I think we can ask two questions:

1. What can I take with me?

What lessons has God taught me in the last 12 months, that I will seek to apply in the coming year?

"Finally, [sisters], whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me [Paul], practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you." (Philippians 4:8 - 9).

2. What do I need to leave behind?

What things have I been convicted of, that I need to turn away from? What things are weighing me down and hindering me in my walk?

"Let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.." (Hebrews 12:1 - 2).

Listen to the passion in Paul's words:

"Not that I have already obtained it, or have already become perfect, but I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet: but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:12 - 14).

We will not achieve perfection in this life, we have failed in the past and will sin in the future, but still we run...

I have one New Year's Resolution this year, and I'd like to share it:

Run to win!

"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should..." (1 Corinthians 9:24 - 27, NLT).

We do this by leaving behind the weights and entanglements, by fixing our eyes on Christ, and by practicing godliness:

"For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, 'I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people... And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,' says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God." (2 Corinthians 6:16 - 7:1).

In the following verses of 2 Corinthians 7, Paul writes of the sorrow that comes from the conviction of sin. Sorrow over sin is a good thing when it leads to repentance (verses 9 - 10).

As we think back over last year, it's no bad thing to feel sorrow for things we did wrong, as long as that sorrow leads us back to the mercy and forgiveness of God. If so, this sorrow spurs us on to holier living - to earnestness, to indignation over the sin, to fear, to longing, to zeal, to avenging of wrong (verse 11). In short, godly sorrow produces a godly fire of resolution within us!

Have you lowered or dropped your standards at any point?
Have you failed in the love you owe to your brothers in Christ?
Have you reflected poorly on your Savior?
Have you injured your Christian witness?

So have I. So have we all.

But rather than letting your failures condemn you, let that sorrow spur you on to future righteousness!

As you sift through the confetti-like pieces of the past year, let them fall through your fingers and leave them behind, holding onto to only the "true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy" (Phil. 4:8) that will equip you for the coming year.

And hold fast to this promise of hope for the future:

"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Shopping With the Spirit

2008-12-21T22:46:00.001-08:00

Conscience Versus Checklist

In the last post, I passingly mentioned a "heavenly dress code" which, fortunately or lamentably depending on how you look at it, does not exist.

1 Timothy 2:9 - 10 commands Christian women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, as befits women making a claim to godliness. We thus have some general criteria for our clothing - modest, discreet, and clothing that supports our Christian witness rather than weakening it - but no specifics. (In a way, that’s rather lucky, because if Paul had gone on to describe said “proper” articles of clothing, we might be scrambling to find robes, tunics, and veils to meet his approval.)

The Bible just doesn’t go into the specifics of modesty vs. immodesty - such-and-such a length of skirt is the golden-ratio-of-godliness; one’s shirt may be this tight (measured in millionths of an inch) and no tighter; neckline may be, say, 2.8 inches below collarbone, but 2.9 inches is of the devil; these name brands are approved Christian apparel; etc.

At times, it seems like a list like that would be so useful, safely doing away with all guesswork, and providing a comprehensive box in which we could safely make all our decisions.

The Pharisees tried to do something similar, remember. They legislated every aspect of life down the minutest detail with the original motives of “staying inside the lines” morally. Not only did their lists and regulations fail to produce a sinless people, but the heart of obedience was almost completely lost. The reason behind the rules disappeared, and all that was left were the rules themselves: harsh, unbending, unforgiving, and seeming to point to an equally unpleasant God.

When Jesus was asked about the Law, He stripped it down once more to its motives: Love God, and love others, He said (Matthew 22:37 - 40).

So instead of a checklist for modesty, all we are given is a framework with the same direction to love God, and love others.

Paul asks, “If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees such as ‘Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!’… in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.” (Colossians 2:20 - 23)

Here Paul reminds us that we can make all the rules we want, but the rules won’t make us more godly. We can follow them to the letter, but in a nutshell, it simply puts us in shackles.

In the following chapter, Colossians 3, he launches into the famous exhortation to seek and set your mind on the things above, to put on the new self, and to live as the chosen of God. Instead of a checklist, Paul presents us again with a framework, reminding us that thankfully, in Christ, we aren’t subject any longer to the requirements and penalties of the Law, but our sins are covered over now by His blood.

Instead of some ‘Holy Stickler’ peering over our shoulder, slapping our hands with a ruler, giving us pages of moral lectures to memorize, and constantly wagging a disapproving finger in our faces, we have the Holy Spirit.

All believers have the Holy Spirit living within them (Romans 8:9; 1 Corinthians 3:11; 1 John 4:3).

He is the third Person of the Trinity. He is the Helper, who guides us in truth and discloses God’s words to us (John 16:13 - 14), that we might “know the things freely given to us by God” (1 Corinthians 2:12). He helps us in our weakness (Romans 8:26).

While everyone in the world has some sort of conscience, to some degree, however fallen (Romans 2:15), that either approves or condemns their actions, believers have the Holy Spirit to guide us into godliness and prick our hearts to repentance when we fail. We know that nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37), nothing is too difficult for Him (Jeremiah 32:17), and nothing is too small for Him to care about (Matthew 10:29)...

...Including giving us guidance when we are seeking to serve Him and our Christian brothers with the way that we dress.

The God who designed and created the human body, "knit" each of us together in our mother's womb (Psalm 139:13), and commands us to glorify Him with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:20), certainly cares about how we dress that body!

You've probably owned a WWJD bracelet at some point, but if anyone is in the dark in this matter, the letters WWJD stand for a question: What Would Jesus Do? And yes, I've actually heard this mutated into the question: What Would Jesus Wear?

A Jewish robe (for a man) and sandals, that's what.

The intention is good, but really, we are not called to wear the same clothes that Jesus wore. A better question would be: What Would Jesus Want Me to Wear? Not only can we ask Him, but to tie in to the main topic, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us into that which is pleasing to God (I know, this talk of the Trinity is getting really confusing, but just remember: One God in three Persons, equal in deity, with differing roles).

So, when next you are standing in front of a dressing room mirror, I hope you will remember the Holy Spirit who dwells inside of you, whose temple is, in fact, your body.

Instead of any type of a "Modesty Checklist" (which you can find elsewhere if you Google it, if you so desire), I would like to present you with some questions you might find helpful to ask. I don't expect anyone to literally ask each question every time they try on a sweater at the store, or take every approach to evaluate every article of clothing one buys. I don't do it myself! I just want to give you some information to stash away in the corners of your mind that you can pull out for future reference. If you are firm in your reasons for dressing modestly, they are a much better guide than say a list of 20 rules printed out and laminated.

Besides the obvious question of "What Would Jesus Want Me to Wear?", the other questions are related to the criteria given for clothing in 1 Timothy 2:9 - 10:

1. "Is it Modest?" Honestly and critically, evaluate the "stumble factor" of the clothing. A great resource for this is The Modesty Survey, compiled by The Rebelution. Hundreds of Christian girls contributed questions to the survey and over 1,600 Christian guys submitted 150,000+ answers. I definitely encourage you to visit this site and view the results of the survey, presented in an easy graph form. It is so helpful to explore guys' perspectives on the clothing we wear. But be warned: once you learn that certain things are very likely to cause your brothers in Christ to stumble, you face a new responsibility.

2. "Is it Discreet?" Does it enhance or obscure the genuine beauty of the heart? (For more on this, see Genuine Beauty Part 3).

3. "Is it Proper?" This is not so much proper in the "pinky-lifted-while-sipping-from-a-teacup" sense, although it does entail a notion of propriety. One of its definitions may sound familiar: "one who places limitations on his/her freedom in order to be sensible and self-controlled". Does it offend the love we owe to our brothers in Christ?

4. "Does it fit a woman making a claim to godliness?" Does it become the bride of Christ? Will you be dismissed as 'just like the rest of the world', thus blowing your Christian witness, or will you reflect the fact that you are seeking to be pure and holy for God?

Again, remember we are never left in the dark or left to stumble through so-called "gray areas". God cares about what we wear, but rather than simply setting an impossibly high standard, the Holy Spirit is there to guide us into dressing in a way that glorifies God. Listen to Him. It may be a small whisper or a simple feeling of discomfort, but listen. Embrace your freedom in Christ, and accept the responsibility that accompanies it, and receive the gift of Help in fulfilling your responsibility!

In Christ alone,
Brynne

The Selfishness of Immodesty

2008-12-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

Okay... Are you really? Awkward... Moving on...

This is a bit of a touchy subject. No one wants to be considered selfish, but deep down, we all are:

Selfishness is simply choosing 'self' over 'others': in other words, me-first.

That's why I think it applies to immodesty among Christian girls and women.

I sincerely doubt that any of us would choose an article of clothing for its "stumble factor" - i.e. a high likelihood of prompting sinful thoughts in our brothers in Christ! Most often, we are really only thinking about whether it will look "good" (open to interpretation) on us, and give us "the look" (another vague phrase) we are going for. We may dress to impress, but hopefully not to tempt. At least not on purpose...

The truth is, ladies, too often we don't even think about the "stumble factor" of our clothing. Not because we are hussies with intent to torment, but because it is so easy to be thoughtless, and selfish.

Our protests range from: "But I like it!", "It's my favorite", "Oh, but honey, it looks so good on you!" to "It's their own problem..."

Too often we seem to echo Cain's words, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

In the same way God saw through Cain's guilty deflection, He cuts to the chase with us. "YES", He answers:

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than [herself]; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3 - 4)

And apparently, looking out for the interests of others includes making sure that we aren't harming them by our choices, even the choices we are morally free to make:

"We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please [her] neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please Himself..." (Romans 15:1 - 3)

"All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. Let no one seek [her] own good, but that of [her] neighbor." (1 Corinthians 10:23 - 24)

"...Rather determine this - not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way" (Romans 14:13)

Something isn't selfish because it is necessarily wrong, but because it is concerned only with 'me', only with 'self'. Selfishness is not necessarily the choice to do wrong, but it is a choice to neglect to do good to others, because it is choosing what 'I want' or what seems best for me without considering anyone else.

That's why immodesty is, at best, selfish. Even though any wrong motives may be completely absent, selfishness is still present in that we are choosing ourselves over others.

That's why love is the motive of modesty, and the perfect antidote for selfishness. Love not only involves caring for others more than we care for ourselves; it also entails restrained liberty for the good of another.

What we wear may not be inherently evil for us or have a detrimental effect upon us, or cause us to stumble. God does not love you more or less based upon what you wear - remember, nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:35 - 39). There is no heavenly dress code that we can transgress by our choices of attire.

However, what we wear can and does affect others, and it can transgress the Christian love we owe our brothers in Christ.

Many of the verses that I have been applying to modesty were originally not written in regards to modesty. Before you run screaming "Heretic! Burn that witch!" (haha), I shall explain...

Here's the scenario: Some Christians were living in a pagan culture, where idolatry was a big deal. And questions arose about eating meat that had been sacrificed to idols (the idols couldn't use the meat, so the idolaters would sacrifice it, then turn around and serve it). The Christians knew that in Christ they were not bound to the rules of the Law as to dietary restrictions, etc. But still, there were other Christians who were aghast that one could think of eating the unclean, pagan food. So they wanted to know - Can we eat the meat? Is it wrong?

It's not a question of the food being unclean, Paul answered, because they are free in Christ. It is, however, a question of conscience, and not only their own, but the conscience of others. Their decision to eat the food could very well place a stumbling block in the path of another believer (who sees this decision as wrong), leading him to violate his conscience.

"As an illustration, Paul posed a situation in which a weak Christian saw a knowledgeable brother enjoying a meal in an idol's temple and was by this example encouraged to join in, even though he could not do so with the clear conscience before God that the knowledgeable Christian enjoyed. As a consequence the conscience of this weak believer was seared" (The Bible Knowledge Commentary on 1 Corinthians 8:10 - 11).

Although modesty and meat have seemingly nothing in common, the principles are the same: We must not let our personal choices cause our brothers in Christ to stumble. And our response must be the same, too: {Step 1} Renounce Selfishness; {Step 2} Yield Your Liberties in Love.

Paul wrote: "For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died." (Romans 14:15). "Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food" (verse 20).

I believe we can safely say: "If because of your clothing your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your dress him for whom Christ died. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of dress [or vanity]."

Paul's decision was: "Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, that I might not cause my brother to stumble." (1 Corinthians 8:13).

Our decision might be: "If this [insert article of clothing here] causes my brother to stumble, I will never wear it again, that I might not cause my brother to stumble."

Instead of selfishness, love sacrifices, sometimes life itself:

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

"We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." (1 John 3:16).

Yet, are we even willing to "lay down" so much as a cute top or a pair of pants?

In Christ alone,
Brynne

"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts." (Romans 13:14)

Gift-Wrapped

2008-12-08T08:43:00.001-08:00

What Image Do We Present to Others?

Think for a moment about the people you, personally, come in contact with on a given day. Let's make an imaginary list, starting with members of your family. Then friends. Then acquaintances you may chat with briefly. Teachers, professors - put them on the list too. But there are other people whose paths cross yours.

Take a broader look - the person behind the register at Wal-Mart, the barista at Starbucks, the elderly saleswoman at the mall - these also are people with whom you have some form of communication. Now, forget any interaction at all. Think of the people you pass in the hallways, the other people sitting and eating at the restaurant, the long line of people at the post office.

If it were possible to come up with a list like this, I think we would be surprised at its length. Our lives in some way, however minuscule, overlap with the lives of quite a large number of people, and there is one lowest common denominator that every person on your list would share, one thing about you that anyone on that list could know, and that is: the image you present.

We've already talked about the importance of possessing a beautiful heart and putting the emphasis on the inner rather than the outer person. We've talked about translating our dedication to Christ as His bride into our lives. All between us and God.

Now, I want to focus on outer appearance after all. Because, once our heart is in the right place with God and we have given greatest emphasis to how we appear to Him, the next step is to examine how we appear to others.

Our image, or the way we appear to others, is the one message guaranteed to reach other people, whether we open our mouths and speak a single word to them or not.

2 Corinthians 6:3 - 4 tells us to commend ourselves as servants of God at all times, in all things, making sure we don't reflect poorly on Christianity by giving any reason for someone to stumble; i.e., we have to make sure we are good representations of Christ to others: "Have regard for what is honorable, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men" (2 Corinthians 8:21).

Let's look at the image we present, for a minute.

Remember, modesty is the outer demonstration of an inner commitment to purity and holiness.

We have a treasure inside, a precious gift from God, and we want its worth to be reflected on the outside. If you bought the perfect present for your best friend, you could certainly give it to her wrapped in a plastic shopping bag, since the present is really what matters. But generally, we choose to give presents in a pretty gift bag or wrapped in pretty paper with a bow, because we want the presentation to enhance the gift - we want the exterior to hint at the thought and love we put into the present within.

The same with our external appearance. We know that the internal is what is truly important, but the presentation is important as well. And I want to specifically apply this to clothing right now - you can think of it as choosing appropriate gift-wrap!

There are 3 possible approaches:

1. Anything Goes: This would be the lovely gift wrapped in a plastic bag or stuffed into a shoe-box, or even worse, wrapped in slimy paper leftover from buying fish at the store (yuck). That certainly doesn't seem to place very much worth on the gift.

Applied to clothing, NOT anything goes! Look at the priceless treasure that has been given to you in Christ - you are a new creation in Him, you are His beloved chosen bride - do you want to wrap that in rubbish? Remember, once upon a time you were dead in your sins (Ephesians 2:1) like the things of this world, but you were raised up with Christ - why do we want to keep wearing grave-clothes?

I'm not trying to be sensationalistic here, but think about it: the often-immodest fashions put forth today are barely more than ornate wrappings for dead souls. As our world has so completely rejected Christ, it has embraced a ludicrous idolatry of our decaying bodies. So when we return to Christ, we should seek more than mere exaltation of the flesh. However, sometimes this brings us to approach # 2...

2. Gilded Emptiness: You know those displays you see at Christmastime, beautiful and ornately adorned presents set under a perfectly decorated tree? When you were little, did you ever brave parental disapproval to reach out and pick up one of the presents, because you were curious as to what wonders might be hidden inside? (Oh wait, that was just me). Instead of a delightful rattle or rumble within to hint at the mystery, however, the box is surprisingly silent and deceptively light. It is, in fact, empty... There's no real gift inside at all - attention has only been given to creating a pleasing exterior.

Applied to clothing: You could compile a long list of standards in clothing - things that are required, things that are forbidden, and things that are sinful, on the line, safe, or especially holy - and adhere faithfully to these rules to the end result of being a very modest woman. But just like the empty Christmas presents on display, you may look like you have everything perfectly pulled together, and be nothing more than an Oscar-deserving hypocrite. Because, now, with this second error, all the emphasis is placed on the presentation and not on the treasure within.

3. A Fitting Compliment: Of course you knew this was coming all along... In fact, this is what we seek when are preparing a gift for a friend - a tasteful and fitting way to present it, so that the gift itself is neither devalued nor overshadowed. And that, my friends, is my philosophy of gift-wrap :) Right...

Applied to clothing: I wrote in a previous post: modesty dresses to enhance genuine beauty. Our clothing should provide a 'fitting compliment' to the beauty and God-given treasure in our hearts.

What we choose to wear will always advertise messages for us - will we provide free advertisement for worldly lusts or will we be walking billboards that commend Christ to every person whose path we cross?

I want to finish with this verse, every single word of which I would love to highlight and underline:

"That you may prove yourselves to be blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, among whom you shine like stars in the universe." (Philippians 2:15)

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Butterfly Beauty

2008-12-01T07:40:00.000-08:00

Beauty that comes from Death and New Life

A previous post discussed the seat of genuine beauty - the heart - and briefly explored the supply of genuine beauty - a heart in tune with Christ. In this post, I want to talk about the source of genuine beauty...

You're probably familiar with the life-cycle of a butterfly: a little egg hatches into a hungry little caterpillar, which makes itself a snug little cocoon/chrysalis, from which it emerges a few weeks later as a beautiful butterfly.

And you've probably seen the "Jesus junk" (an unofficial, affectionate term for merchandise that capitalizes on Christianity) that pairs the verse "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17) with the image of a butterfly.

The butterfly is an obvious choice as a symbol of 'new life' because that wrinkled little caterpillar undergoes a complete transformation before it becomes a butterfly.

You know what? It doesn't simply grow wings. That little chrysalis it builds itself isn't simply a changing room between acts of the show...

It's a coffin.

Inside (and you won't hear this often because its too difficult to explain and smacks too much of 'design' and 'miracle'), the caterpillar dissolves itself from the inside out into a pool of slime. It completely disintegrates. If you opened up the chrysalis at this point, you would be led to conclude that the caterpillar had died. And you wouldn't be far wrong... But somewhere in the slime is another genetic system with different genetic information than the caterpillar, which creates a butterfly that is a completely new and different creature .

When this process is complete, the butterfly bursts forth from its chrysalis into a new life.

The caterpillar crawled - the butterfly flies. The caterpillar munched on leaves - the butterfly sips nectar. Furthermore, the butterfly now possesses a beauty that was once impossible for it... a beauty that comes only from death and birth into new life.

Read these verses, imagining the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly:

"Just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with Him in His death, we will also be raised as He was. Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also share His new life." (Romans 6:4 - 8, NLT)

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:1 - 3, NIV)

"You have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (Colossians 3:9 - 10, NIV).

This is complete transformation! This is a life so different from our old life, that I pray we would hardly recognize our old selves if we met them walking down the street! This is a radical, stunning change that should make the world around us sit up and take notice!

Now we soar up in the heights where Christ is! Now we sip the sweet nectar of fellowship with Him! Now our hearts have been changed to reflect His image!

Our old selves have died, decomposed, and been utterly erased by the new creations we have become. We have been born a second time, in a way just as mysterious as the birth of a butterfly, or the path of the wind (John 3:3 - 8). Now we are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit (Romans 8:9), and in the same way that a butterfly cannot live the life of a caterpillar, we cannot live our old fleshly lives (Colossians 3).

The caterpillar of our old self crawled in sin: immorality, impurity, passion, evil desires, materialism that makes money one's god, angry outbursts, an angry heart, malicious deeds, slander, abusive speech (Colossians 3:5 - 8).

The butterfly of our new self soars with a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love (which is the perfect bond of unity) that bears with others, and forgives others; it allows the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts, and the Word of Christ to richly dwells in us; it manifests itself in our witness and praise of Him; and it gives glory to God in all that we say and do (Colossians 3:12 - 17).

We don't possess these attributes in perfection... but they are there, because they are Christ-like, and because we belong to Christ.

When the butterfly first comes out of its chrysalis, it can't fly right away. It has to sit there pumping blood into its wings, letting them harden and dry, before it can use them. For a butterfly, this doesn't take very long.

For us, it can take years. Some of us sit, our wings limp and lifeless, and never fly at all. Don't let that happen!

Look at the marvelous miracle that has happened! You once were dead in trespasses and sins, but now you are alive with Christ, raised up with Him, and seated in the heavenly places so that you may be shown the surpassing riches of God's grace, mercy, and love (Ephesians 2:4 - 7)!

Instead, present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and give Him every part of your being to be used as an instrument of righteousness (Romans 6:3).

Let our inner beauty, the beauty of a heart reborn in Christ, shine forth in witness of God's glory!

"Awake, sleeper, and rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you." (Ephesians 5:14)

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Give Thanks to the Lord

2008-11-27T06:03:00.001-08:00

I hope you all have a blessed thanksgiving!

Soli Deo Gloria, Brynne

As Becomes The Bride

2008-11-24T09:52:00.000-08:00

Mendelssohn's march begins. Everyone rises to their feet, all eyes turned towards the rear. A familiar sight emerges through the tall doorway - an older man, face beaming with pride, eyes moist, and holding onto his arm, the focus of all attention. Her white dress makes her look like a princess, her veil obscuring the radiance of her face. The pair walks with measured steps down the aisle, in time to the reverent music. At the front of the building, one solitary figure stands, waiting with bated breath and loving eyes.

Halfway down the aisle of attentive faces, the bride suddenly pauses. She sidesteps toward one of the pews where a young man is standing. Everyone holds their breath at this unexpected turn of events. "Hey good looking," the bride croons in the sudden silence. She lifts her veil and gives him a provocative smile...

WHAT? Hold the story - something is terribly wrong!

What bride in the entire world would, on one of the most special and memorable days of her life, pause on her way down the aisle toward her husband-to-be to flirt with another man???

'Right,' you're thinking, 'Well, I'll be sure to take the warning and not do anything of the kind.'

But we do... often, and to our shame!

We are the bride of Christ

Revelations 19-21 describes Christ's church as His bride, being prepared on earth for marriage in heaven. This analogy draws on the purity of love and life associated with the picture of a wedding to portray a spiritual truth. In the same way that a groom loves and protects his bride, and a bride loves and honors her groom, Christ loves and protects His church, and the church loves and honors Him (see Ephesians 5). In the same way that a bride prepares for her wedding and eagerly awaits her marriage, the people of Christ must prepare and eagerly await for His coming - the return of the groom (see Matthew 25).

This applies not only on the level of "the church" (and by the word "church" I mean the association of every person who has accepted Christ as Savior, irregardless of denomination, etc.), but on a personal level as well.

Throughout history, God has related to those whom He loves as a tender groom and a forgiving husband (see the book of Hosea). To His people He promises: "As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you" (Isaiah 62:5).

Whether you are single or married, you are 'the bride of Christ', the beloved of God, awaiting the wedding day in heaven: "Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready" (Revelation 19:7).

So let me ask a question... If we are engaged to be married to Christ, if He is the groom and we are His bride, and life is the aisle we walk down in order to meet him at the end, what right do we have, what could possibly possess us, to stop and flirt with another?

"You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God?" (James 4:4a, NASB).

"I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy this world, you can't be a friend of God," (James 4:4b, NLT).

The World: the principality of Satan (John 12:31, Ephesians 2:2, 6:12), composed of those unreconciled to God, and in which we must live.

However, although we live in the world, we are not supposed to be of it, meaning we have no choice but to dwell in it, but we must not embrace it. If we do embrace the world, we alienate ourselves from God, and are spiritually unfaithful to Him. James uses the very strong word "adulteresses", echoing Ezekiel 16:32: "You adulteress wife, who takes strangers instead of her husband!"

Whenever we choose what the world has to offer over what Christ offers, whenever we take our eyes off of Him to explore the world's possibilities, whenever we stray from His path to pick flowers by the wayside (the moral of the story of Little Red Riding Hood: don't leave the path), we are not behaving as becomes the bride of Christ!

Wedding Planning 101 - Practical Tips

✓The Groom. Jesus Christ. He is the one standing at the altar waiting for us. There are two things we must do: (1) Fix our eyes on Him, and (2) keep walking: "let us also throw aside everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:1-2).

✓The Dress. Traditionally, the white dress worn by a bride represents her purity. Revelations 19:8 portrays the bride of Christ dressed in "the finest white linen", which is "the righteous acts of the saints". Our pure actions, done in service of God, form our white wedding dress. We have our lifetime (however short or long that may be) to construct this dress... What do you think it looks like right now?

✓Father-Of-The-Bride. What better father-of-the-bride could one ask for then God Himself? He is walking with you, holding your arm, gently guiding you down the aisle. All you have to do is submit to His leading.

✓ The Wedding Party. Just as bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc., are chosen because they are close friends or family members who support and love the bride and groom, we must surround ourselves with fellow believers who will encourage us in our Christian walk.

Let us pray that as we draw closer and closer to Christ, our desire to flirt with the world will grow less and less, and we will truly live our lives as becomes the bride of Christ.

In Christ alone,
Brynne

Guest Post: "The Mystery"

2008-11-19T20:31:00.000-08:00

This was sent to me as one of the responses to be included in the post "Genuine Beauty - Part 5". However, after reading it, I decided to give it its own post!

" I believe there is no difference in “inner” and “outer” beauty. There are not two different types of beauty. There is just the one you have. I believe that everyone either has a unique mate chosen for them by God, or is supposed to be single. I also believe that God would never call someone to marry another person to whom they are not attracted. Therefore, I believe that every woman has a mystery given to them by God, just for the man called to be their husband.

You see girls, a man is not all that complicated. I think a man is easily represented by a mountain. For all of a man’s rugged, primitive ways, he is very predictable. He may not be the most sophisticated or genteel of the species, and he’s certainly rough and hard, but not all that difficult to figure out. A woman, on the other hand, is in possession of a perilous beauty that reminds me more than anything of the sea. The sea can go from a state of absolute serenity to complete mayhem at the drop of a hat, and no one knows why. But, in the calm of an August evening in Florida or the swirl of a gale off the coast of Maine, the sea is incredibly beautiful. It can never be understood, just known a little better with each passing day. There is a mystery in the depths of the sea, and there is a mystery in the heart of a woman.

A girl’s mystery is that small, subtle trait that makes a woman supremely beautiful in her own unique way. The mystery is not confined to merely a physical characteristic, although this facet is the most readily discovered. Neither is it completely an attribute of temper or disposition. It is the essence of a female, and once discovered, draws a man closer and closer to the girl. What makes it the most potent, though, is its elusiveness. The more a man does to perceive the mystery, the more alluring it is.

Some women cheat themselves and their mate by attempting to reveal their mystery to a man. The problem is that the easier the mystery is to discover, the cheaper it becomes. I guess most girls are too impatient to demand a mate that fully appreciates them and the unimaginable adventure they represent. If they would only wait on God’s timing, what a love they could share!

It breaks my heart to see a beautiful girl, whose true mystery I can only guess at, of whose mystery I have stolen a mere peripheral glance, sell her mystery to the most prompt bidder. Girls, demand excellence of men! Give your mystery to no one! Conceal it from all except the one man who truly appreciates it, and tenaciously pursues it, recking nothing of his surroundings, following doggedly in your footsteps until he has caught you and made it clear to you that he has indeed immersed himself in your mystery.

The Mystery may be glimpsed, chased, followed, pondered, but never solved. For that is the very nature of the Mystery. Just as the ocean can never be tamed, nor its swells and falls subjected to the mundane irons of predictability, the mystery of a woman can never be solved, merely understood a little better with each passing day spent reveling in it.

So, do guys care about so-called “inner beauty”? Absolutely. Is it easy to notice? Not always at first. Please forgive us. We’re just human, after all. The thing is, when a guy spends time with a girl, he begins to notice other things about her, both physically and spiritually. What initially attracts a man? It’s never the same for anyone. That’s what makes it so cool! If I could explain exactly what it is that I find beautiful in a woman, where would the wonder be? Poets are often praised for their eloquence in praising a woman’s beauty, but they’ve truly come no closer to explaining a woman’s beauty than any other awestruck man stumbling for words.

A girl’s “x-factor” is just that. An unknown. A mystery. Whatever it is, the guy who seeks God’s kingdom and righteousness will see it, even if no one else does. This man, the man who sees your mystery and appreciates you fully for your beauty, for your mystery, is the man you should be praying for in the evening. Pray that God will keep him focused on Christ and His ways. Pray that God will give him the strength to keep looking for you, and that God will give him the patience to wait for you, just as you are waiting for him. Because, believe me, there are such men out there. There are men who want nothing more than to protect you and provide for you. There are men who think you are the most incredible person on earth, and would like nothing more than to tell you. They will not always be exactly the way you imagined them, but they do care about you. They do appreciate you as you are. So, don’t buy into the culture of dressing provocatively. The good guys out there should be repelled by that. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself, but don’t think you need to do anything beyond basic hygiene and fashion.

Sorry to ramble, but I’ve wanted to say that for quite some time. I hope this helps some of you out there. Remember, demand excellence. And remember, there are men out there who do care about the whole person, not just what catches the eye at first. If such men exist, why settle for any less? "

Genuine Beauty - Part 5

2008-11-11T16:08:00.001-08:00

Brothers in Christ Speak Out!

In 1 Timothy 5:1 - 2, Paul instructs Timothy to appeal "to the younger men as brothers... and to the younger women as sisters, in all purity".

Last week, I sent a message out to my brothers in Christ, asking for a response to the following questions:

Is true inner beauty really important to Christian guys who are used to the impossible (as in, created by Photoshop) physical beauty of models and celebrities?
So do you really care about inner beauty?

Which is more important to you?

I asked, and they answered. The responses from your Christian brothers are presented below. But first, I want to thank them for their willingness to share, their honesty and boldness in answering, and the encouragement that their answers provide for Christian girls!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"As a male, I am attracted to attractive females (the way God intended it to be), and as Christian male, I am attracted to females who display spiritual maturity and are clearly on the path of sanctification. Modesty is part of that maturation process. Someday when I meet the woman I am to marry, and am pursuing her in such a way, her physical beauty will just be icing on the cake. That physical beauty will be magnified by her spiritual beauty."

~Charles

"The guy who is not in complete pursuit of God cares more about physical beauty. I know this from experience. They want what their flesh wants.

However, men who are in complete pursuit of God don't care at all about physical beauty. Because they are in complete pursuit of God, they fall in love with the characteristics of God. To fall in love with the characteristics of God leads to the desire of the characteristics of God. Thus, those who are in complete pursuit of God desire the characteristics of God.

The dude should be so caught up in the love of Christ, the greatness of the Spirit, and the justice of the Father that the dude should only be open to the Lord's plan. And IF the Lord is willing, He will grace the dude with a girl. The dude should only notice the girl's Christ-like characteristics. Those characteristics will reflect Christ. Therefore, the dude will come to love the girl's inner beauty. The inner beauty is so much more attractive, because Christ-like characteristics last forever. Because Christ lasts forever.
To the man of God, only inner beauty is important."

~ Dusty

"Physical beauty is just one part of a girl. There are plenty of really attractive girls that Christian guys are not interested in, inner beauty being a reason. Yes, guys might be attracted to attractive girls, but if they don't have a connection to the person, they can easily move on.

Many guys (and me personally) have certain things they look for. Like for me, Christianity, athleticism, intelligence, smile, confidence, and connection. Those are things that when I meet/am talking to a girl I am looking for in a sense.

No matter how beautiful/attractive a girl is, if she does not believe in herself and her own unique inner beauty, then a guy won't force it just because she is attractive. I think the best thing a Christian girl could do is be herself and let her own inner beauty shine, and eventually will find a Christian guy that looks for/is attracted to her as a person."

~ Blake

"Colossians 3:2, 'Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth'. All that our culture is dressing in are things of this earth, and it is really a stumbling block for men when they see girls dressed immodestly. Not only that but all it does is cause disrespect for the girl if she is known only for her looks. In my opinion, inner beauty is absolutely the most important thing for Christian girls."

~ Ryan

"I agree with Ryan. Inner beauty is the most important thing when it comes to beauty in a woman. Just walking through the Mall, there are tons of 'smokin' hot chicks' who dress to show off their body, but when a guy sees a woman like that, he's only looking at her body, not what's on the inside. I know girls who dress to show off their bodies, and girls who dress modesty... Modest girls completely win out in my opinion. It's also tough for guys to stay pure when you've got girls walking around showing off what they've got. But yeah, inner beauty is most important for me."

~ Noah

"Yes, inner beauty is the key. We hope y'all love God more than us, but us second. Therefore, look beautiful to God, not for men."

~ Anonymous

"Internal beauty is very important, but this world seems to have lost sight of that. I live in a fairly selfish town. Everyone is concerned with what they drive, what they wear, or who they date. It is discouraging to go to the mall, since everything rests in this post-modern lifestyle (this life is all we have, so please yourself and be happy). Everywhere I go, I see people flaunting their bodies. It bothers me, and makes it very hard to keep a godly mind (1 John 2:16). External beauty doesn't define what a person is on the inside. The things that make someone internally beautiful are: spiritual qualities (gifts); personal convictions (morals); goals and desires; a desire to live like Christ; and respectfulness (1 Timothy 2:9)."

~ Anonymous

"I can't say outer beauty doesn't make a difference, 'cause that would be a lie, we were made to be attracted to that, however, I know for me it's not what's most important. A girl in my opinion can only be so 'pretty', but I have found that inner beauty actually and literally enhances physical beauty, so the inner beauty is what I look for, because how a girl acts and how she lives changes how I see her. The most 'attractive' girl wouldn't phase me if I knew who she was, and knew that she was an abhorrent person. Likewise, I have met girls who I didn't notice anything physically about until after I got to know how righteous they were.

So yeah, in summary, guys look for attractive girls whether or not they admit it, but at least for me, I don't really know how attractive a girl is until I know her."

~ Tres

"I think that the inner beauty of a girl is far more important than her outer beauty. I try my hardest to look past a girl's outer beauty in order to look inside and see just how beautiful she really is. I look for what a girl's personality and heart are like, and try not to let my opinion be affected by her looks. I have found that once I get to know a girl's inner beauty, than I really notice her outer beauty. Her attitude towards life, her heart, her personality, actually enhance her outer beauty. The more beautiful she is on the inside, the more beautiful she is on the outside. I really like what Tres wrote at the end, 'So yeah, in summary, guys look for attractive girls whether or not they admit it, but at least for me I don't really know how attractive a girl is until I know her.' I feel the same way."

~ Robert

"I would have to say that yes, outer beauty does make a difference, but as my dad has always told me, outer beauty fades but inner beauty is what is going to last forever. And a person (man or woman) that is only beautiful on the outside and not on the inside is not beautiful very long. And it does not have to be either - a person can have both. I have heard it said once that every woman is beautiful, some are just lazy. Same goes for guys."

~Luke

"Maybe it's because I'm at West Point and there's so few girls, but the whole idea of beauty is a big deal. A really big deal. After a while, you start looking at girls based only on how they look, and not so much on how they act or what they're like inside. It's sad how little any of that matters up here. I'm not going to lie, it's easy to forget that there's so much more than meets the eyes. I always have to go back and think about what I want in a girl. Because when all is said and done, if everything you have is based in physical beauty, there's no way it's going to last. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, inner beauty is important, and I'm not the only guy out there that thinks that. It's what I hope to find in a girl one day."

~ Barret

"I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the eye needs to know what real beauty is. Not carnal, but that which never fades. Ask yourself if you could still consider her beautiful when she's 80. If you can honestly call her beautiful at 80, then yes, she is beautiful."
~ Seth

"I'll start off with the short answer: inner beauty is much more important than physical looks.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that, without inner beauty, physical looks mean nothing. It seems a girl's inner beauty reveals itself in the way she acts and dresses. I have known young ladies who would not have been judged very pretty by the world's standards. But, because they dressed modestly and beautifully (attractive, feminine) and weren't flirty or teasing, but really seemed to reflect Christ's love, they appeared to be extremely beautiful inside and out. On the other hand, there were also girls who would have been deemed very pretty, physically, but because they wore trashy/revealing clothes, used excessive makeup, and/or were way too flirty and friendly with the guys, they came off as being low, ugly, shallow, and worldly. Very repulsive.

Some day in the very distant future if God ever tells me I need to get married, physical beauty will hardly even be a consideration when looking for a wife. Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting. What's on the inside is what really matters. Physical looks might fade with age, but the heart and spirit of a girl will remain. Hence, that is what's valuable, that is what you fall in love with, not the aging body.

When a girl's relationship with the Lord is flourishing and she is living for and serving Him with 101% of everything she has, it speaks 100 times louder than her physical looks.

In summary, a guy who has self-control values inner beauty and purity far above physical looks and sensual attraction. Character and a growing relationship with the Lord is revealed in the way of a young lady dresses and behaves. The kind of boy that is attracted to a girl who dresses and acts immodestly is not the kind that a young lady wants to be friends or be associated with. I hear that this is one of the biggest struggles a young lady faces, and I believe it is one of the most consequential decisions a young lady can make, but when the right choice is made, the beauty of the results is endless.

P.S. Regarding the 'Photoshop' beauty of models and celebrities... while they may seem pretty at first glance, a closer look reveals that they are fake, artificial and plastic-y. There's obviously nothing underneath that very thin skin. I would rather be single for eternity than have anything to do with any of them."
~ Anonymous

"Outer beauty matters some. But only initially. A girl can be average on the outside, but if on the inside she is pure and true to her morals and beliefs and has that inner beauty, it actually (for me) gives off somewhat of a more beautiful aura or vibe, and she can even become more beautiful than a girl who is more physically attractive than herself. The inner enhances the outer... The same is true in the opposite, in that a girl can be absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, but if she isn't beautiful on the inside, she only has her looks... Which isn't much in the long run.

So yes, outer beauty matters, but only initially and not even very much initially at that. A girl can become more (or less) attractive as you get to know them."

~ Matt

"Now I know I don't speak for all guys, but I know that most of them would somewhat share my opinion, so here goes nothing.

Obviously, guys struggle with lusts and how they perceive women, but even from a young age we start developing our 'standards' of beauty (with the help of society). I can tell you that Christian men look at godly women and, whether they like it or not, they make that first judgment based on our socialized 'standard' of what we find attractive. Most men can tell you if they are attracted to someone before ever talking to the person, but that's not even the half of it. I know that in my own life, girls that I have talked to that I didn't immediately find beautiful have become more and more attractive as I see their hunger for the Lord.

I guess that it's kinda like this: have you ever known someone who has something blatantly non-normal that at first is all you can notice (for example - a big wart on their nose, extreme obesity, terrible acne, etc.) but then as you get to know them you find yourself not even noticing it at all? That is sorta like how our perception works sometimes, we see someone that doesn't immediately stand out as attractive, but after getting to know them and their walk with the Lord, we find them totally beautiful.

So I guess my answer is two-fold. Yes, a woman's inner beauty becomes what is really important. But no, we still have this idea of what is and isn't physically attractive and it sticks with us regardless."

~ Lee

"Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder: beauty is absolute and a gift from the Father above. Absolute as in forever and eternal and already defined. The only way, I believe, we can discern the true beauty of things is if we have the Holy Spirit with us whereby we can always see the transparency of things, the heart of things, the true beauty of things and not the opacity of this world.

May we pray that the only thing important to us is our inner beauty, and as the things of earth grow strangely dim, may we pray our outer beauty fades away so that we may better serve our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen."

~ Rob

"Yes, a true Christian guy does admire a girl with a beautiful heart, and the Bible even says that men (and women) should not look at another person's outside but instead what's on the inside. Now there's nothing wrong if a girl is beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside, as long as she is still being modest. And yes, a guy does admire both, but if he's truly a Christian he would be looking for a Christian girl (that has a beautiful heart). So yeah, we do look for girls with a beautiful inside."
~ Kyle

"First off, I don't think of myself as having a great deal of experience in how girls should or should not dress. But I can tell you what affects me and causes me to stumble in my walk with the Lord, as well as what characteristics of a woman are, and should be, I guess you might say, attractive to a godly man.

Going to a public university, I see everyday young girls that want to be loved and long for someone to tell them, 'I love you'. The Lord has given us this natural want to be loved and to have drives toward the opposite gender. These young women try to ENTICE this so-called 'love' by stirring up men's drives in an ungodly fashion. I know when girls dress immodestly they distract a guy more than they will EVER KNOW. The Lord has created these feelings, but only to be engaged in under the hand of marriage. When girls dress immodestly, whether they want to or not, this is happening. Also, when a girl dresses immodestly and attracts guys, the kind of guy that would pursue a girl for this reason is really not the kind of man she would want as a life-long partner in the first place.

When I see girls 'dressed to impress', not only do they distract and tempt me with sinful thoughts, they give away a small part of something that can never be replaced, you might say, that is their purity. But on the other hand, when a woman dresses in a way that does not attract attention to herself, it might tell a godly man something about that girl's heart and relationship with the Lord."
~ Anonymous

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up

in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ,

from whom the whole body, joined and held

together by every joint with which it is equipped,

when each part is working properly, makes the body

grow so that it builds itself up in love."

Ephesians 4:15 - 16

In Christ alone, Brynne

Genuine Beauty - Part 4

2008-11-10T09:32:00.001-08:00

Beautiful Women of the Bible

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised" (Proverbs 31:30).

I will shamelessly declare this post a rabbit trail - an exploration of an idea I mentioned in the previous post, a question that developed from the question, "What does the Bible say about beauty?" In this post, I want to look at the 'beautiful' women of the Bible.

Physically Beautiful Women of the Bible:

These are women whom the Bible describes as being physically beautiful. While they are famous for their beauty, they are often remembered first for other reasons...

Sarah (Genesis 12 - 23). Sarah was so beautiful physically, even in her old age, that her husband Abraham was worried that other men would kill him for her. Her lasting legacy was not her physical beauty, however, but the strength of her spiritual beauty - her FAITH, not her FACE. Hebrews 11:11 praises her because "she considered Him faithful who had promised"; incidentally, she is one of only two women mentioned in the Hebrews 11 'Hall of Faith' (the other is Rahab, you should read about her, she was pretty cool too).

Rebekah (Genesis 24 - 27). We are told that Rebekah was "very beautiful" (Genesis 24:16). We are introduced to her as she selflessly serves Abraham's old servant Eliezar by watering his camels. The description of her physical beauty parallels the description of the beauty of her character. But just a few chapters later, we see Rebekah's legacy - she played favorites with her sons and helped Jacob deceive her husband. She had a prophecy from God about her twin sons - that the older will serve the younger (Genesis 26:22 - 23) - and decided that God needed help to carry out His plan. Her family life was far from peaceful.

Rachel (Genesis 29 - 35). Rachel was beautiful "of form and face" (Genesis 29:17), and Jacob fell in love with her immediately. Although she was his beloved wife, and favored over her sister Leah who was also married to Jacob, she was always unhappy, and struggled with self-esteem and jealousy until her death.

Abigail (1 Samuel 25). Abigail was "intelligent and beautiful in appearance"; she had beauty and brains. When her husband Nabal haughtily refused a request of David, bringing David's wrath upon his head, she hurried out to appease David's anger and smooth matters over. She is remembered for her wisdom, diplomacy, and gentleness. "May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day," replied David to her appeal, "If you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal men would have been left alive by daybreak".

Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11 - 12). Bathsheba, one of the 'infamous' women of the Bible, was very beautiful in appearance. Her story highlights the weakness of her character, however, and she is always referred to as "the wife of Uriah", reminding us of her adultery, even in the genealogy of Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:6).

Vashti (Esther 1:10 - 22). Vashti was the wife of King Ahasuerus of Persia, and so beautiful that he wished to display her beauty to the people and the princes. She, however, refused to come, and she was banished, her crown was taken from her, and her position as queen was given to another. Arrogance and contempt for her husband are implied in her refusal. In the end, her beauty meant nothing when it was weighed against her haughty character.

Esther (Esther 2 - 10). Esther is probably the most well-known beauty of the Bible, chosen over all the eligible, beautiful young women of the land to replace Vashti as queen of Persia. But everyone knows her story didn't end when she won the king's "beauty pageant". That was the just the beginning to her story of faith, selflessness, courage, and her willingness to lay everything on the line for others when her own well-being would have been secured by her silence!

Women whose Physical Appearance is Never Mentioned, but whose Inner Beauty Shines Brightly:

Ruth (Ruth 1 -4). Ruth is a well-known Biblical character. Much has been written about her, and deservedly so. Interestingly, although physical beauty is ascribed to many of the famous women of the Bible, nothing is said about Ruth's appearance. We learn nothing about what she looked like or whether she was pretty or not, rather her character speaks loudly for itself, establishing her as one of the most inwardly beautiful women of the Bible. The pages of the book of Ruth record her loyalty, her self-sacrificing kindness, and her trust in God. Even though she was a foreign women in a land that ostracized foreigners, the daughter-in-law of a bitter expatriate, a childless widow, and one of the poor that had to glean for food in the fields of the rich, Ruth's reputation of inner beauty touched the heart of Boaz before he ever met her (Ruth 2:10 - 11). Wonderful things were in store for her... Read the book of Ruth, because I could write for days about it :)

Mary (Luke 1:26 -56; 2). If almost everyone knows the story of Ruth, surely everyone knows about Mary, the young virgin chosen to be the mother of the Jesus Christ the Messiah. Again, no description of her physical attributes is provided us. She obviously wasn't chosen on the basis of height, weight, hair or eye color, facial structure, etc. Look at her absolute acceptance of the Lord's will, her unflinching faith, and her joyful praise of God for circumstances that she can predict will cause her difficulties (she could face the death-penalty for bearing a child out of wedlock).

The Proverbs 31 Woman. Not even a name here. And definitely no description of her physical attributes. But this is basically a 'shopping-list' given by a mother to her son, of the things to look for in an "excellent wife". Everything from being faithful and helpful to her husband to being a good steward of her house, but nothing about her figure or face. (Hmm, I thought that was supposed to be so important... oh, wait...)

"People are like stained-glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Dear sisters, this light within is the same as that with which 'in former times the holy women of old used to adorn themselves' (1 Peter 3:4) - it is the love of God that shines brilliantly through us!

This is the only beauty that lasts, that does not wither or fade. This beauty only intensifies with the years of seeking after God! "A woman who fears the Lord" (Proverbs 31:30) only grows more and more exquisitely beautiful with the passing of time.

Why is this? I'll end with a wee bit of theology:

One of the attributes of God is His beauty, the fact that God is everything desirable. "One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord..." (Psalm 27:4).

The result of the Fall was the corruption of the image of God in human beings, but the result of new birth in Christ is a gradual restoration of that image - we are being "conformed to the image of His Son" (Romans 8:29), so that we will "bear the image of the heavenly" (1 Corinthians 15:49).

This includes spiritual beauty, inner beauty, genuine beauty - unfading beauty! As we grow more and more Christ-like, we share more and more in His beauty. THAT is why genuine beauty is priceless in God's sight (1 Peter 3:4). THAT is the kind of beauty I want to have.

This is "stained-glass window" beauty, illuminated by a light within. This is the beauty our culture lacks, and this has become so apparent to me! At times I ask myself, "Does it matter? Why do I care?" I sometimes buy into the lie that such standards and ideas are weird and out-of-touch. But then I look deeply, past the shiny exteriors, to the darkness inside - there isn't a light illuminating our culture from within; there is only rottenness and dead men's bones inside (Matthew 23:26).

I pray that as followers of Christ, we will be stained-glass windows, and not white-washed tombs!

In Christ, Brynne

Next Post: Brothers In Christ Speak Out!

Genuine Beauty - Part 3

2008-11-02T19:24:00.000-08:00

How the Bible Defines Genuine Beauty

We are constantly met with images that send the message: This is what you must look like to be beautiful, because this is what true beauty looks like.

Yet we are also given the hollow phrase, "It's what's inside that counts", usually by the very stars and celebrities who are being admired and put on display for their physical attractiveness. I happen to believe very much that "it's what's inside that counts", but not because some supermodel drops the phrase in a moment of scripted pseudo-humility.

This may be the message that is spoken, but it soon becomes meaningless, because the true message that is sent is: This is what you must look like to be beautiful, because this is what true beauty looks like... Oh, and it doesn't hurt to be a nice person... But back to what's really important.

Is physical attractiveness really the most important thing? Is beauty solely external, defined by the times and by one's allure to the opposite sex? What does the Bible have to say about beauty?

The Bible identifies two kind of beauty - external beauty, and inner beauty.

I. External beauty

First of all, the Bible cites many examples of beautiful women. Sarah was a "woman of beautiful appearance" (Genesis 12:11). Rebekah was a "very beautiful" girl (Genesis 24:16). Rachel was "beautiful of form and face" (Genesis 29:17). And we know that Esther was chosen in a kingdom-wide beauty pageant as the most beautiful bride for the king of the land!

The Bible has no problem with external beauty. This might seem obvious, or overly-simplistic, but I want to make sure the message is not misunderstood. In portraying the excess of our culture in regard to external beauty, I don't want in any way to condemn it! Rather, I want to show how a good thing has become twisted and emphasized to a harmful degree and diverted from its original goodness.

But, external beauty fades.

This is the fatal flaw in the way our culture bases personal worth on external, physical beauty. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last" (Proverbs 31:30). No matter what 'age-defying' products are used, our bodies are still subject to time, weather, sickness, and injury. External beauty is a fragile and fleeting physical state; some possess it to a greater degree than others, some have the resources to prolong it more than others, but no one can meet our culture's demands of being beautiful forever. "There is an appointed time for everything" (Ecclesiastes 3:1), and there is a time for the bloom of external beauty to fade!

External beauty is meaningless unless accompanied by inner beauty.

"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion" (Proverbs 11:22). I think one of the most humorous examples of this verse is the character of Lina Lamont in Singing in the Rain.

Lina is a beautiful, glamorous silent-movie star, who appears to have everything a girl could wish for... that is, until she opens her mouth. It turns out that first of all she has a terrible and annoying voice, and second an ugly and ignorant personality. A beautiful woman without discretion, and I can picture Gene Kelly's character comparing her to a gold ring in a pig's snout :)

Another good word picture is one that Jesus used in Matthew 23:27, where he compared the Pharisees to "whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean". Having a nice exterior doesn't mean very much when the inside is dirty and spiritually dead. Pretty soon those dead bones start to smell... even though the outside looks pretty!

External beauty carries no weight with God.

You remember the story of when David was chosen to be king of Israel? The prophet Samuel went to Jesse's house, because God told him to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be the next king. The oldest son, Eliab, passed by first, and based on his appearance, Samuel thought for sure that he was the chosen one. But the Lord told Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).

Humans (although we are warned against it) DO judge books by their covers, and people by their appearance. But God doesn't. His judgment is not affected by the way you look. He doesn't love you more when you look good, and less when you don't. He doesn't appreciate you more when you're attractive, and less when you're not. He doesn't focus on you when you're fixed up, and ignore you when you're not. God loves you neither more nor less based on your external appearance!

What He does care about, He tells Samuel, is a person's heart. This brings us to...

II. Inner beauty = Genuine Beauty

1 Peter 3:3 - 4 "Let not your adornment be merely external - braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."

This verse is the treasure chest of genuine beauty!

The genuine beauty these verses describe is far more than "merely external": It is inner beauty, the beauty of the hidden person of the heart.

The word for "heart" used in these verses is the seat of one's thoughts, reasonings, understanding, will, designs, affections, and emotions. Basically, everything that makes you the person you are inside. Not the image you project, or the body you live in, but the you that lives in the body. This is where genuine beauty is found.

Genuine beauty is far more than physical beauty: It is the gentle, tranquil, spiritual beauty of a heart that is right with God.

So what's with this "gentleness" and "quietness"? Lest you fear that inner beauty is something you can only easily possess in a library ("inside voices", anyone?), let's look at the meaning of those words:

My keyword study Bible says that the gentleness spoken of here "is a condition of mind and heart which demonstrates gentleness not in weakness, but in power. It is a virtue born of strength of character". Similarly, a quiet spirit does not mean literal silence, but inner peace, undisturbed, tranquil - the associated picture is that of "keeping one's seat".

Genuine beauty is beauty of the heart and spirit, the beauty of a peaceful ocean, the beauty of power that is under control... picture to yourself the seas after Jesus told them to be still (Matthew 8:23 - 26).

Genuine beauty is imperishable.

Unlike external beauty, and our physical bodies, inner beauty will not deteriorate over time - it is exempt from the wear, waste and final perishing which characterizes the body. An investment in your external appearance may bring present rewards, compliments, etc., but we never get anything but older... It's like buying a new car, that loses value the minute you drive it off the lot. Our time ticks away and we can never be the same as we were yesterday.

But an investment in inner beauty is like planting a tree; it will only grow and flourish as time passes. Unlike a tree, however, which has a lifespan as a physical object, inner beauty is unaffected by time.

Genuine beauty is PRIZED by God.

It is precious in His sight. Remember, God looks at the heart, and heart that is a still sea under the authority of Jesus Christ is treasured by Him. It is beyond value, something that is impossible to set a price on! Inner beauty is where true worth and value comes from, because it is priceless to God!

Finally, inner beauty is an adornment.

It magnifies and amplifies external beauty. It brightens any face, livens any voice, adds sparkle to any eye, and an aura to any personality. Proverbs 15:13, "A joyful heart makes a cheerful face". Your outer appearance is the very first thing that strangers see, but your inner beauty is what people will remember. A pretty face is soon forgotten, but a beautiful heart has a timeless impact.

Not only that, but God made our hearts to perceive beauty more clearly than our eyes, and to see beauty where our eyes may not. Although our world has perverted our perception of beauty, God's design for genuine beauty involves the heart. And when there is true inner beauty, our heart seems to override the simply physical perception of our eyes; so that we literally "see" someone as beautiful, who may possess little external beauty.

I want to share a beautiful Russian folktale with you. It is told in the children's book, My Mother Is the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, by Becky Reyher.

A little peasant girl gets separated from her mother, and the village people are trying to help her. They ask her, "Who is your mother? What does she look like?". And the little girl replies, "My mother is the most beautiful woman in the world".

So they parade all the beautiful woman from the village before the little girl, asking her each time, "Is this your mother?", and each time she answers, "No. I told you, my mother is the most beautiful woman in the world".

Finally, a woman comes rushing up anxiously, sees the little girl, and catches her up in a hug. She does not fit the standard definition of beauty - her face is big and broad, her body even larger, her eyes are small, and her nose is big, and her mouth is almost toothless. But the little girl is full of smiles, and declares, "This is my mother! I told you my mother is the most beautiful woman in the world!"

Is there an application to modesty in all this?

Yes! Remember the focus of genuine beauty - it is inner, not outer, as such it is NOT defined by the times or our culture. Modesty dresses to enhance genuine beauty; immodesty causes genuine beauty to all but disappear, as the external and the physical steals the show.

Next post on "Beautiful Women of the Bible".

In Christ alone... Brynne

Genuine Beauty - Part 2

2008-10-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

The Fatal Flaw in the Way Our Culture Defines Beauty

Our culture defines beauty as primarily external and sensual. From every direction and with every medium, our culture constantly bombards us with the message that an ideal woman is a beautiful woman, and a beautiful woman is a sexy woman.

Your personal worth becomes tied to your looks, and your looks are judged and measured based upon the degree to which they appeal to and attract men. Ultimately then, your worth becomes subjective, dependent upon the appraisal of the opposite sex!

Let's look at some of the ideals of beauty that are presented. Take a brief trip with me into the two crash-courses that our culture teaches on beauty...

Modern Beauty 101 - A Beautiful Face:

Not just beautiful because of form, symmetry, or expression; oh no - The beautiful face must be flawless, youthful, seductive... superhuman.

Cue the age of Photoshop, photo refinishing, 'beauty retouching'.

One expert in the field writes: I want to preface this section with a disclaimer. All the women in this chapter are perfect before I touch a pixel. They are smart, charismatic, and incredibly beautiful inside and out. These gorgeous women are human, however, and that is no longer acceptable in today's beauty and fashion world. I am asked to make them superhuman, perfect beyond reality.

Perfect beyond reality? Gorgeous, but human, and thus unacceptable? Does this signal to anyone else that something is terribly wrong?

Today it is common, normal, and even expected to manipulate photos to make the subject "more beautiful". The video below is short (a little over 1 minute) and is a dramatic portrayal of the modern "makeover" of our perception of beauty. A little thing like reality never gets in the way...

The title of one Photoshop tutorial, How-To "Beautify a Face", really jars with me. It reminds me of a scene from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis. Lucy Pevensie is flipping through a magical book of spells, and discovers the following:

Then she came to a page which was such a blaze of pictures that one hardly noticed the writing. Hardly - but she did notice the first words. They were, An infallible spell to make beautiful her that utterith it beyond the lot of mortals. Lucy peered at the pictures with her face close to the page, and though they had seemed crowded and muddlesome before, she found she could now see them quite clearly. The first was a picture of a girl standing at a reading-desk reading in a huge book. And the girl was dressed exactly like Lucy. In the next picture Lucy (for the girl in the picture was Lucy herself) was standing up with her mouth open and a rather terrible expression on her face, chanting or reciting something. In the third picture the beauty beyond the lot of mortals had come to her. It was strange, considering how small the pictures had looked at first, that the Lucy in the picture now seemed quite as big as the real Lucy; and they looked into each other’s eyes and the real Lucy looked away after a few minutes because she was dazzled by the beauty of the other Lucy; though she could still see a sort of likeness to herself in that beautiful face...

Then it changed and Lucy, still beautiful beyond the lot of mortals, was back in England. And Susan (who had always been the beauty of the family) came home from America. The Susan in the picture looked exactly like the real Susan, only plainer and with a nasty expression. And Susan was jealous of the dazzling beauty of Lucy, but that didn’t matter a bit because no one cared anything about Susan now.
"I will say the spell,” said Lucy. “I don’t care. I will.” She said I don’t care because she had a strong feeling that she mustn’t.

But when she looked back at the opening words of the spell, there in the middle of the writing, where she felt quite sure there had been no picture before, she found the great face of a lion, of The Lion, Aslan himself, staring into hers. It was painted such a bright gold that it seemed to be coming towards her out of the page; and indeed she never was quite sure afterwards that it hadn’t really moved a little. At any rate she knew the expression on his face quite well. He was growling and you could see most of his teeth. She became horribly afraid and turned over the page at once.

The ideal presented to us is "beauty beyond the lot of mortals", not to mention the fact that the perfect and flawlessly beautiful faces don't even exist in reality!

I will be perfectly honest and admit that during my research into "beauty retouching", my first reaction was: Wow! Look what they can do... I could be just as beautiful with the same technology! I WANT IT!

Then I realized that I was succumbing to the same lie I was trying to debunk :)

One thing I find interesting in the excerpt from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is the fact that Aslan (the figure for Christ in C.S. Lewis's allegorical novels) is displeased with Lucy's desire to say the spell to make herself beautiful beyond the lot of mortals... And I do not believe it is wrong to be beautiful, pretty, or to (within reason) enhance our natural beauty! But I do believe that undue emphasis on our physical beauty is not pleasing to Christ. We'll be covering that in another post...

Modern Beauty 201 - Beauty = Body:

This is a terrible message and shift in our perception of beauty! Setting an impossibly high standard for facial beauty is not enough for our culture... You'll notice that the focus is rarely on the perfectly retouched and airbrushed faces of the models on magazine covers, but rather on their bodies (also often retouched, airbrushed, or otherwise altered).

No doubt you can create a perfect-body image in your mind of exactly how your body "should" look, ideally: the ultimately perfect height, weight, shape, tan, muscle-tone, etc.

Fitness and health are important, yes. But the rest of that composite image in your mind? Truthfully, isn't most of it based on the messages you receive from the culture? Think about what they tell you a "beautiful" body looks like, and the pressure that puts on you. Think about the styles put forth to make your body look like that "perfect-body-image". Think about the focus on sensuality.

Are you seeing how this begins to tie into the whole modesty issue?

I'm not going to preach an empowering-women, be-comfortable-in-your-own-skin, self-love message.

But in future posts I do want to look at what God says about how we look - How does the Bible define genuine beauty? What gives me value and personal worth, if not my outward appearance? Is beauty more than merely external, defined by the times and by one's allure to the opposite sex?

Until next time...

Genuine Beauty - Part 1

2008-10-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

Ever-Changing Culturally Defined Beauty Ideals

This is the first part in a series of posts on Genuine Beauty - what it looks like, where it comes from, what it's not. As girls, our perceptions of beauty are often tied to fashion, and thus to what we wear. And in the previous post, "Sisters With Standards?", we established the fact that what we wear really is an important choice.

I would venture to say that not too many people out there put on clothes in the morning for the purpose and goal of looking ugly... I'm just going to go out a limb and say that! If I'm wrong, leave a comment :) And I will also say that a big reason we choose most of our clothes would be that they make us look/feel pretty and beautiful... And I believe there's nothing wrong with that. God obviously made girls to be prettier and more beautiful than boys.

The problem comes with our perception of what is "pretty" and "beautiful".

A few questions you can ask yourself as we begin:
How do I define the word "beautiful"? What picture comes to mind when I think of "beautiful"? What person do I consider to be the ideal of beauty? Am I beautiful?

"Beautiful" is defined for us at a very early age by our culture - the toys we play with (Barbie, anyone?), movies, tv shows, commercials, billboards, magazine covers. We are left in no doubt as to the fact that certain things make one beautiful (and valuable), and other things make one ugly (and thus, undesirable). This image of "beautiful" is imprinted in our minds by the world around us... And here is where I want to challenge you: Who said the world is right?

Why do we let a fallen world tell us who we should be, what we should look like, whether we are beautiful or not?

1 John 2:16, "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world."

Three things: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life. Picture to yourself the magazine covers you see as you're checking out at the grocery store - John hit the nail on the head, didn't he? Would you agree that our culture's definition of "beauty" is pretty much flawed?

The Bible doesn't assign much worth to the messages the world preaches to us - we are told "do not be conformed to this world" (Romans 12:2), and to keep ourselves "unstained" by it (James 1:27), and that we cannot maintain a "friendship" with the world's values (James 4:4). Therefore, I think it is truly important to find out how God defines "beauty", and what He wants us to know about genuine beauty. I will address that in future posts.

Now, for your viewing pleasure (and a few laughs at societally-defined 'beauty'), I present a gallery of images from the past, all personifying "beautiful" for their day and age:

First we have the leaning tower of Pisa... obviously quite a comfortable choice of headgear, and very flattering to the face, no? (ca. 13th century)

Get the snow-white Elizabethan look with lead-based cosmetics! Possible side effects include: lead poisoning, death, skin-decay...

Absolutely the last word in fashionable coiffures... Quick, easy updos for your next formal occasion (ca. 1700's)

The ever-popular corset... boned or steel-ribbed, laced tightly to achieve the perfect hour-glass figure, and the ideal waist measurement of less than 20 inches:

The corset is key to achieving this lovely wasp-waisted look (ca. turn of the 20th century):

Never fear if the corset isn't exactly your cup of tea. Simply wait a few decades and 'Voila!', the twenties come to the rescue:

Foot-binding - what a distortion of true beauty:

Is it my point to ridicule history or fashions of the past? No. I simply want to show how ideals of 'beauty' have evolved over the years and to point out that the ideal of 'beauty' today will not be the same ideal of 'beauty' in thirty years...

But genuine beauty, as the Bible defines it, is not based on physical appearance, and does not change.

More on that in future posts :)

Sisters With Standards...Starting Point

2008-10-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

Sisters in Christ united and committed to serving God and loving our brothers in Christ with our standards, especially of clothing!

1 Corinthians 6:19 - 20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."

Romans 12:1 - 2 "I urge you therefore, [sisters], by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Romans 14:7, 13 "For not one of us lives for [herself], and not one dies for [herself]... Rather, determine this - not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way."

Let's start with a definition of Modesty:

Modesty is an outer demonstration of inner purity.

Not a set of rules or anything legalistic... Just an internal attitude that translates to external actions.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss says, "A woman's clothes and her appearance are powerful non-verbal communicators of what she believes, of her moral values, and of her character."

What does your appearance say about you? What do you want it to say about you? As a Christian, what should your appearance say about you?

1 Peter 1:14 - 15, "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in your behavior." Why? Because you were redeemed with the precious blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:18 - 19), and you were chosen to "proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9).

So modesty should be the outer demonstration of an inner commitment to holiness and purity as a redeemed and precious child of God. It starts inside and works its way out - Modesty is two-fold, a cause and effect.

Some helpful points about Modesty

(1) Modesty is first God-focused, then others-focused:
Moving from the inner heart to the outer actions... Serving God flows to serving others.

The first reason to be modest is to serve God: Our bodies are created "for the Lord" and are "members of Christ." Our bodies are not our own, but "bought with a price", and for this reason we should glorify God with our bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:13 - 20). Because of this, Peter tells us that we should make it our goal to live the rest of our lives on earth not for human desires, but for the will of God (1 Peter 4:2).

The second reason to be modest is to serve others: Philippians 2:3 - 4, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than [herself]; do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the the interests of others."

FACT: The way we women dress affects men. (Sorry to be so basic, but this is important to acknowledge up front). Yes, men are responsible for their own thoughts and actions, but we are also responsible when we place temptation right before their eyes.

"By sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ," Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 8:12.

Our resolution, then, should be: If anything causes my brother in Christ to stumble, I will never do it again, because I do not want to cause my brother to stumble! (1 Corinthians 8:13)

This quote by an anonymous author paints the picture clearly: "Your brethren in Christ may be weak and the devil does all he can to weaken them further. They're forced to live in a world where they are continually bombarded with sights, which are designed by the enemy of their souls to weaken their morals and destroy their purity of heart, and must Christian women help the devil to do his work? Even in the congregation of God...

Oh that you women could understand the fierce and bitter conflict in the souls of your brethren when you arouse their desires by the careless display of your feminine beauty. Never again would you plead for your right to dress as you please.

The fact is, you have no such right. You have no right to destroy, by your careless dress, the brother for whom Christ died. You were bought with a price and are not your own. You are duty-bound to glorify God in your body, to clothe that body not as you will, but as God wills, and a little love for the souls of your brethren would remove forever from your heart the desire to dress as you please."

(2) The motive of Modesty is love:
Both love for God and love for others... love taken from inner motives to outer actions.

"Love does no wrong to a neighbor," Romans 13:10. If we hurt the conscience of a brother in Christ, then we are no longer walking according to love. (Romans 14:15)

Love is the ultimate guideline for modesty. Does your appearance show that you love God? Does it show that you love your brothers in Christ?

How do we know if we are showing love? A simple statement: love edifies (1 Corinthians 8:1). To edify = to build up, encourage, make better, promote growth.

"So then, let us pursue the things that make for peace and the building up of one another," Paul writes in Romans 14:19. He tells us boldly in the next verses, do not do anything that tears down the work of God, do not do anything that causes your brother to stumble.

So love builds up, and the opposite of love is tearing down... Do your standards of modesty build up your brothers in Christ? Or do they tear down the work of God and cause them to stumble? Our ultimate goal is to be 'controlled by the love of Christ' (2 Corinthians 5:14).

"Is it wrong to be beautiful? No. God made you beautiful. But recognize that your body is a candle, and there's nothing wrong with a candle - But you have to watch what you do with it when it's in a room full of gunpowder." ~ Nancy Leigh DeMoss

SUMMARY: Modesty is all about the heart of a woman seeking after God and translating that love for God into her appearance.